I love having sex on tap with my toyboy who is my best friend's SON — but my family is horrified
I’m 41 and divorced with a son of 22. My friend is 43 and we met at a mother-and-baby group when our sons were tiny. Our boys are mates too.
My son was home from university for a couple of weeks and my friend’s lad came round for a couple of meals. He is 21 and training as a plumber.
I had been looking for somebody to change the taps in my bathroom. He offered to do it and I asked him to come round after work one evening.
He arrived with his tools and looked very fanciable but I kept reminding myself he was young enough to be my son.
When I took him in a cup of tea I banged his head with the door as he lay under the sink behind it.
He laughed and I ran a flannel under the bath tap to stop the swelling. As I stood in front of him I felt an urge to kiss him.
I thought he’d push me away but the look in his eyes said he felt attracted to me too. I took him by the hand to my bedroom where he peeled off my clothes and we had the most incredible sex.
He arranged to come back and finish the taps the following evening but we ended up having sex again then.
We continued to see each other, driving out to country pubs for dinner or having meals at my place, always followed by passionate sex.
All was fine until my son came home to surprise me on my birthday and caught us having a romantic meal in my kitchen. He took one look and stormed out, going straight round to my mother’s.
He obviously told her because now the whole family knows and they’re not happy. My sister says I’m “disgusting”, my mother hasn’t spoken to me since and nor has my friend. It’s all such a mess.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your family are reacting in a very judgmental way. Children, even adult ones, are often shocked by the idea of their parents having an active sex life but you and your friend’s son are both single and free agents to have a relationship with whoever you choose.
Still, it is true that the large age gap could cause problems.
Now that your secret is out, it makes sense to have a talk with him about whether this is just a fun sexual fling for you both or if it’s serious.
If it’s just a fling, best to end it now so you’re both free to meet someone at the same life stage. Tell everyone it’s over but no harm done.
If it’s serious, tell your family, your son and your friend that you two have fallen for one another and hope they can be happy for you.
My e-leaflet Do Age Gaps Matter? will help you to be sure.
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