Late-Night Goes Live for Midterm Election Outrage and Celebration
Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and Trevor Noah were on top of all the late-breaking election developments, like Ted Cruz holding his seat while the GOP lost the House.
It was a historic day at the polls, even as members of both parties have reason for disappointment, and much of late-night went live to stay on top of everything.
One of the most anticipated midterm elections in memory saw high voter turnout, long lines, a few problems at the polls and historic results. It also saw Democrats gain control of the House of Representatives for the first time in eight years, which is the bad news for the GOP. But they saw gains in the Senate, which was a Democrat bummer.
Along the way, Americans voted in the first Muslim and Native American women into Congress, the youngest woman ever into Congress, the first gay governor and several firsts for states like Texas electing their first Latina women to Congress, and Massachusetts their firsts African-American woman.
But the big get for progressives is the House victory, which will allow Democrats subpoena power and actual oversight into the Trump administration. It remains to be see what they do with it, but things are probably going to be pretty different for the president.
That said, it wasn’t the "blue wave" many Democrats were hoping for, which led both Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers to drink. In particular, Ted Cruz’ victory over Hollywood darling Beto O’Rourke proved a particulary tough pill to swallow.
And while Jimmy Kimmel seemed upset about it too, there has to be a part of him excited that Ted "Blobfish" Cruz will remain in office, if only because he has so much fun making fun of him. He even got in a few jabs while declaring his victory.
"Jimmy Kimmel Live"
Jimmy Kimmel couldn’t resist poking fun at his long-time rival, Texas Senator Ted Cruz. And as Cruz proved victorious over Democrat Beto O’Rourke on Tuesday, Kimmel put up side-by-side pictures of the two men and challenged the audience to guess how far apart they are in age.
"Beto O’Rourke is 46. Ted Cruz is 47," Kimmel marveled. "He’s one year older. Ted Cruz is the only vampire that ages faster than a human being."
According to reports, President Trump is not happy with the GOP losing control of the House, and some of that anger may go toward Paul Ryan. "He’s said to be so disappointed in the Speaker of the House, he might start calling him Don Jr.," Kimmel said.
But he wasn’t going to overlook the big victory on the house for the left. "By taking the House, Democrats now have subpoena power, which means they could start demanding records from the president," he said. "Which is why the president spent all night last night frantically stuffing his tax returns into Mike Pence’s mouth."
"The Late Show with Stephen Colbert"
Stephen Colbert also took note of the new power Democrats will be able to wield over the Trump administration in the House. "They can finally open investigations into the president and we’ll finally find out if Donald Trump has ever done anything unethical," he said.
He then took a moment to question everything he’d ever believed. Fox News was the first network to declare a Democrat victory in the House, which left Colbert scratching his head. "Wait a second, is Trump right?" he asked. "Is Fox the only non-fake news? Are we in the Upside Down. Is the new Senate majority leader the demogorgon?"
But mostly he was impressed by the strong voter turnout, as evidenced by the dominance of people proudly proclaiming that they did their part on social media.
"In 2018, grabbing an "I Voted’ selfie is on flee, if on fleek is till on fleek. No? Voting is bae? It’s totes venmo? Is voting ‘thank u, next?’" Colbert fumbled. "Somebody just tell me what to say so my mouth seems younger than my ace."
Colbert also revealed his emergency bottle of bourbon in case anything upsetting comes through, complete with a glass behind glass. "If for any reason, I need to pour myself an emergency drink I can merely break glass for glass."
That moment came very quickly as he then reported Ted Cruz’ victory of O’Rourke. After pouring a glass, though, he considered the bright side. "Ted Cruz beat Beto O’Rourke, although by not being Ted Cruz, Beto is still a winner," he said.
"With Ted Cruz holding his seat, this means Republicans have officially kept control of the U.S. Senate, and to celebrate Republicans are deporting immigrants via confetti cannon," Colbert joked, and yes, he already had a graphic prepared for this. See Ted Cruz is good for the jokes.
"Late Night with Seth Meyers"
Seth Meyers took "A Closer Look" at the midterm election, and cracked his own joke about Trump’s response to Democrats gaining control of the House. "Trump was just photographed trying to sneak 20 years of tax returns out of the White House," he said. "Right now Trump is at an Office Max in Washington, DC. ‘Yes, do you have a shredder?’"
He then took a deeper dive into all of Trump’s antics leading up to this election, including the stumping he did for Republican Senate candidate Josh Hawley in Missouri. Hawley was looking to upset Democratic incumbent Clair McCaskill, and wound up doing just that, so perhaps Trump’s message worked.
And perhaps it’s because he kept it stupid. He showed a clip of the president lamenting that his advisers want him to talk about how great the economy is doing, but that’s not all that interesting. Far more interesting is talking about the migrant caravan and the fake news media.
"That’s the president saying the economy is boring," Meyers said. "Dude, the economy is your number one job. It’s like getting in an Uber and hearing your driver say, ‘Sometimes it’s not exciting to keep your eyes on the road.’"
He then went in on Sean Hannity for appearing at the Trump rally where Trump called him on stage. After all, Hannity continuously insists he is an impartial journalist with no specific ties. He also said he had no idea Trump would call him on stage, with Meyers found hard to believe.
"No idea? You just ran up on stage like a contestant on ‘The Price Is Right,’" he said. "You had no idea he would call you up. You just flew all the way to Missouri on a lark. Hannity’s like a guy who gets a call from his crush and answers on the first ring."
"The Daily Show with Trevor Noah"
Trevor Noah was excited about being in America for this election, or as he put it, "The day when voters were going to officially decide, is America racist or is it openly racist."
What he found most frustrating, though, was waiting for results to come in as for the longest time it seemed like every race was too close to call. "It’s like we texted America, ‘You up?’ and all we could see is that little typing bubble. It’s like, tell me, America. Do you want to smash or not?"
Noah did sneak in a not-so-subtle jab at Ted Cruz in declaring his victory, taking a note from Jimmy Kimmel’s playbook. He definitively declared that he would not mock him on the night of his victory, and so he simply offered his congratulations as the picture of Cruz’ head slowly morphed into a blobfish.
Of course, the big news is that House flip, but correspondent Roy Wood, Jr. had some serious concerns about it. "Now that the Democrats have the House, America has descended into a socialist chaos just like Trump said it would," he declared. "It’s like Venezuela outside, but worse. It’s Venezuela with white people. All the socialism, but none of the rhythm."
In all honesty, though, Wood thinks this might ultimately prove to be good news for Trump. "When all of his policies go wrong, he has someone to blame," Wood explained, offering up examples of things he could blame on the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters.
That does seem easier than just denying anything bad is going on and calling it fake news by the fake news media. Plus, it might be nice to hear some new rhetoric from Trump. After two years, it’s started to get a bit repetitive.
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