Grimes on Elon Musk Breakup: Eff That Guy! Im Starting a Lesbian Space Commune!
As you’ve probably heard, billionaire spaceman Elon Musk and avant-garde Canadian pop songstress Grimes have called an end to their three-year relationship, which was somehow both completely random, and one of the only things about the Trump years that actually made any sense.
Now, we know what you’re thinking — if a socially-awkward Bond villain and Robin Sparkles from How I Met Your Mother can’t make it work, what hope do the rest of us have?
Well, fear not.
The parents of 16-month-old son X Æ A-Xii (we sh-t you not; that’s really their son’s name) seem to have parted ways on amicable terms, and they both seem to have held on to their sense of humor.
Ya know, the kind where you can’t tell if they’re joking, or if they’ve accidentally tweeted out one of the lizard person/illuminati secrets of global domination?
Yeah, that kind of humor.
Take, for example, Grimes’ latest comments on the subject of her separation, in which she gently roasts her ex whilst simultaneously painting a spacily sapphic vision of the future that offers hope for all mankind:
“I’ll be colonizing Europa separately from Elon for the lesbian space commune,” the singer said in an email to Page Six.
For those of you who slept through astronomy (like they still teach that in schools, lol), Europa is one of Jupiter’s 79 moons.
Believe it or not, there’s not a single lesbian commune to be found on any of those moons at present, so it’ll be a major yasss kween/girlboss moment for Grimes when she manages to break ground on Ellentopia before Elon gets a chance to tweet the inaugural South Park meme from his colony on Mars.
All kidding aside, Grimes is still very much on board with colonizing other planets.
“Ready to die with the red dirt of Mars beneath my feet,” she recently posted on Instagram.
The singer went on to write that she’s willing to engage in “manual labor until death” on the red planet, adding, “but hopefully that can change.”
Grimes went on to claim that she wants to “have my consciousness live in some kind of humanoid vessel that can speak and move freely, and then that body can go to Mars and other planets with my mind inside it.”
For his part, Musk has been much more prosaic in his remarks, insisting that he and Grimes are still the best of friends, and that their separation is largely a result of his work obligations.
“We are semi-separated but still love each other, see each other frequently and are on great terms,” he recently told Page Six.
“It’s mostly that my work at SpaceX and Tesla requires me to be primarily in Texas or traveling overseas and her work is primarily in L.A.,” he added.
“She’s staying with me now and Baby X is in the adjacent room.”
Well, even if the sexy space colonies never come to fruition, at least Grimes and Elon can take pride in their successful collaboration on Baby X.
May the force be with him, or whatever.
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