Michael B. Jordan Won't Shut Up About White Women And Boats

My Hot Tip For Hot Dudes: Keep it shut! That’s it, it really is that simple. Fewer clothes, fewerer words. You would have thought that Michael B. Jordan would have learned this lesson by now after ruining a perfectly good fantasy about me, him, Lupita and Martin Freeman (don’t you dare judge me) tied up together in a Wakandan Knot by speaking out on separate rumors that he was gay and that he and Lupita Nyong’o were dating. Now he’s making things weird again by re-addressing the rumors that he only dates white women, when all I really care about is that he’s staying hydrated and not skipping glutes day.

Mike is on the cover of GQ this month and most of the accompanying interview is about how Mike is trying to cultivate his career now that he’s a bonerfied (in the immortal words of Michael K “typo but it stays”) movie star. One aspect of that is him trying to learn when to address controversy, and when to let it go. Mike describes one such time he should have kept his pudy mouth shut but didn’t, and then proceeded to make things worse by addressing it again in the interview. It seems Mike was very bothered that people were saying he only dated white women, something he attributes to the time last summer when he was photographed on a boat in Italy surrounded by white white women.

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