Phillip Schofield ran off This Morning set to be sick as he kept secret of his sexuality
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Phillip Schofield has revealed the pressure of hiding his sexuality left him running off This Morning to be sick.
The 58 year old announced he was gay in an emotional interview on the hit ITV daytime he hosts with Holly Willoughby in February.
He has now written an autobiography which details his struggle with his sexuality, and his decision to come out.
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Writing in his book, Life's What You Make It, Phillip reveals he once left Holly, 39, to host the show alone as he ran off set to be sick because of the weight of his secret.
He writes: "I had to come out. If I didn't, the secret was going to give me a total breakdown . . . at best."
The presenter says he was once on his way to the ITV studios when a voice in his head told him: "You're f***ing up everything and everyone and there's no way to stop it."
He asked his driver to turn around and take him home, texted his producers to say he wouldn't be in and turned off his phone.
"It was the first time my issues had spilled over into work. Another day I had to leave a fashion item to be sick. I now knew that I needed professional help."
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Phillip insists in his memoir that he didn't know he was gay when he married wife Stephanie Lowe in 1993.
He continues: "I love Steph with all my heart. We've had the best marriage," as he reveals she was the first person he told about his sexuality, and she offered "her full support."
The silver fox also discusses how he came out to co-host Holly in a dressing room, with her spotting a white feather when she opened the door to leave.
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He said: "She picked it up and gave it to me. 'See,' she said. 'It's all going to be ok.' The feather is in my wallet."
Phillip also reveals in the book that he spent New Year crying in the dark alone as his weight fell to 9st 12lbs, with his mum being "relieved" at the news after fearing he was going blind.
Life's What You Make It by Phillip Schofield is out now.
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