How do I stay pals with a guy I bedded knowing that I am his guilty secret?
DEAR DEIDRE: I FEEL sick when I think about the guy I’m seeing going back to his partner every night.
I’m a 24-year-old gay man. This guy is 32 and in a gay relationship. We met when he joined our sales team. Our team were treated to a night away at a hotel and our rooms were next to each other.
There was a free bar and we got to know one another well that night. We ended up back at his room and had sex.
We’ve been back at work for a couple of weeks but nothing has been said.
I feel sick. I don’t know whether it is the guilt of having sex behind his partner’s back or whether I’m falling in love with him. I hope it is the guilt.
I want to stay friends, not have a sexual relationship, but I’m not sure how to stop wanting him.
DEIDRE SAYS: It will take willpower.
You’re attracted to him but it’s clear he didn’t see that night with you as the start of anything serious. That’s why he’s avoiding the subject now.
Tell him you want to remain strictly friends and workmates in future.
You deserve better than being his guilty little secret.
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