I struggle to orgasm as I have been addicted to massages and porn for so long

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M 32 and would dearly love a partner to form an emotional bond with, and also with whom I can satisfy my sexual urges.

I’ve had a couple of opportunities in the past to start relationships but have always been so shy that I let the chances pass me by.


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Over the past years I’ve regularly visited massage parlours and paid for sex but this is expensive.

Recently I’ve been using pornography as an outlet for sexual release.

But I am now finding it difficult to reach an orgasm. Sex was so much more exciting with a real person, no matter how we met.

Do I need counselling to help me meet someone I can enjoy sex with as part of a normal relationship?

DEIDRE SAYS: The best way to form a strong relationship is to focus on making friends and getting to know people you genuinely like.

Yes, sex is a big part of any close relationship. But being able to get on and actually liking each other is the real foundation of happiness.

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Check out meetup.com to find new interests and groups in your area. A friendship can lead to much more, given time.

Try not to focus so much on sex, as potential partners will sense this a mile off and be deterred. Instead, take your time and enjoy friendships to see where they might lead.

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