I took my husband back despite his drinking problem but I can’t fix him – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband was drinking for 12 hours a day so I eventually asked him to leave.

I thought that would shock him into seeing what he’d lost but he says he is moving on and has dated another woman.


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We are in our fifties. He is a typical man’s man, an HGV mechanic with tattoos who struggles to show his emotions.

His brother died suddenly two years ago and he changed from having a few drinks with mates on Friday nights into being down the pub every day, sometimes all day.

In the end, I asked for a trial separation and his drinking got even worse. But I missed him terribly and after six months I begged him to come back.

Then he said he was just starting to accept he needed to move on.

That’s when he took this other woman out for dinner.

He says he is scared to try again, as he attempted to take his own life when things were at their worst.

He fears all the problems are still there.

Since all the pubs shut he has been trying to sort himself out and cut down the drinking, which I always wanted.

I am fighting for him but he says he finds it hard to get past me asking him to leave. I feel as if I’m drowning.

 

DEIDRE SAYS: He probably needed to hit rock-bottom alone to understand he needed to rescue himself.

That is not something you can do for him. Don’t accept the responsibility for your relationship problems.

Find support from Al-Anon, which helps partners and families (al-anonuk.org.uk, 0800 0086 811).

Tell your husband you love him but be careful you don’t sweet-talk him back home just to find yourself in the same unhappy place all over again.

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