My fiancé has given me a life and a career but I can’t stop cheating on him – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: A FORTNIGHT ago I had a wild night out and it ended with me having sex with a colleague who I have fancied for ages.

I have a loving partner but I can’t stop myself being excited by other men’s attention.

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My fiancé is an amazing man. He used to be my boss when I started working for his design team ten years ago.

He was then 41 and I was 21, so there is a big age gap. But he is so knowledgeable and talented, I fell for him and was thrilled when he suggested we have dinner.

I adore him and when we started to have sex it was like being in a film. I moved into his flat and life has been a dream. He has helped me develop as a person and in my career.

The only problem is that I keep cheating on him. The guy from work is just the most recent occasion. I’ve done it six times now.

This time was pretty typical. A group of us were celebrating landing a big contract. We went for drinks and the others faded away as they had to get home. Just this male colleague and I were left downing shots. He’s 29.

We have always got on well and I knew he had recently broken up with his girlfriend. He was drunkenly confiding in me and I — also drunk — said it wasn’t all wonderful for me at home either and that living with Mr Perfect can get boring. The upshot was I went back to his place.

We had sex, which started out feeling like uninhibited fun. But by the end, as I sobered up, felt sordid and dirty. I told him I’d better get back home and he ordered me a car.

My fiancé was asleep in bed when I got back.


TEENAGERS are transitioning to adulthood, working out their own independent values.

Clashes with parents are normal, but that doesn’t mean it’s OK for teenagers to behave badly.

Email me for my troubles with teens e-leaflet to establish effective boundaries.

He is understanding about me needing to let my hair down sometimes but I don’t think he has any idea about me cheating.

I really want to stop doing this but my willpower only seems to last until the next night out.

I guess the coronavirus shutdown has put a stop to me cheating for now but I don’t want to slide back into my old, bad ways once we can socialise again. How can I develop some willpower?

DEIDRE SAYS: One quick and easy answer here – cut out the booze. Good for your health as well as your emotional wellbeing. Cheating can lead to grim complications.

Look more closely at your relationship. He may be a lovely guy but perhaps not so right for you now, or maybe you’ve got “stuck”.

You’ve been together for ten years and are engaged, so why no talk of a wedding? Are you ready to start a family now and he’s maybe dragging his feet?

Ask yourself those difficult questions and then explore the underlying issues with him.

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