My girlfriend does sports massage and has been giving happy endings to strangers

DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend is a sports massage therapist – and I’ve just found out she has been giving happy endings to strangers. 

I am wondering if I should finish the relationship as I don’t want to get hurt.

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She is 25, absolutely beautiful and I have enjoyed the best sex ever with her. She is really adventurous and confident about her body.

I am a kids’ football coach, aged 27. We met when I went to her with a thigh injury. 

From the moment I walked into her treatment room I fancied her. I had to really control my body’s natural response to having an absolutely beautiful woman massage my inner thigh and leg for half an hour.

Somehow I managed not to embarrass myself and booked a follow-up appointment for the next week. 

Over the following month, we developed a great friendship. 

Not only is she gorgeous but she totally healed my leg.

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We have loads in common and both share a love of running. We started exercising together then began dating. 

But recently she told me she had found a new job at an elite sports club so was leaving the old gym where I had met her.

Something didn’t sit right. Gyms are closed, so where could she be going? Her response was that she was setting up a new department ready for the end of lockdown. It didn’t stack up.

So I googled her number and discovered it came up on plenty of other massage websites — some offered erotic massages. I messaged her from another number, asking if she did massages with happy endings. She replied: “Yes. And I’m told I’m the best in the trade.”

I’m devastated. We have had such a great time together. I don’t know how to approach my discovery with her. She will probably be offended and cross that I’ve been snooping around.

Would it simply be easier to walk away?

DEIDRE SAYS: Walking away may avoid a difficult conversation. But as you have feelings for this girl you do need an honest talk. z

You do not know any of the circumstances around why she may be offering erotic massages and the only way you will learn about what is really going on is if you talk to her.

She may feel she has no other choice but to offer sexual massages. If she has financial problems, or other issues are forcing her down this route, she may welcome a supportive conversation.

But, of course, this may well be her choice and she may want to stick with it. You both need to consider whether you have a future together – with or without compromises. 

If she refuses to give up her job you will have to decide if you are happy to continue the relationship or whether it is time to walk away.

Have a look at my support pack Looking After Your Relationship to help you have these difficult discussions.

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