My girlfriend has always been faithful but I'm still struggling with jealousy

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T stop peeping at my girlfriend’s phone even though she hasn’t done anything to make me suspicious.

I know I am struggling with jealousy because I was let down in a previous relationship.

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I saw my ex had messages on her phone from other men she had secretly been in contact with during our relationship, so I ended it.

There are messages from other men on my new girlfriend’s phone but they are old ones from before we met.

They are still affecting me, though, and I don’t want them getting into my head.

I want to get all the negative thoughts to go away.

It is starting to affect my sex drive.

My girlfriend hasn’t said anything but I want to know how to get rid of these jealous feelings before I drive her away. I am 28, she is 26.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s great you realise this is about your insecurity, not your girlfriend’s behaviour.

Write down every way your girlfriend is different from your ex.

Read through it every time you doubt your girlfriend, until it’s clear in your mind they are two very different people.

My e-leaflet on Coping With Jealousy will help too.

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