My partner works away too much so I've started a risky affair with his best friend

DEAR DEIDRE:  MY partner has been working away far too much so I got to be friends with his mate and I’ve fallen in love.

I know that it’s wrong but the sex is so good that I don’t want to stop.

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I’m 32 and I’ve been with my boyfriend eight years.

We have two little boys aged seven and five and I was enjoying our family life when my boyfriend’s work changed.

He drives a lorry and realised that he could be earning much more if he went for the long-distance jobs.

So, yes, he was earning good money for us but I felt I was raising our children alone and I got really lonely and sad.

We had some big rows about this but they always ended with me feeling that I was the one in the wrong.

I felt very resentful of him and the freedom he had while my own life was ruled by the kids.

I was having a very rare night in the pub with my mate back in March before lockdown began.

My boyfriend’s best friend was there too and he bought me a drink. I already knew him well as he’s been a good mate of my boyfriend for years.

They’re the same age, 34, and he married my boyfriend’s cousin a few years ago.

We got chatting and had a great time. I must have had too many ciders as I invited him back to my home for a couple more drinks at the end of the night.

It felt so good just to have some attention at last that we ended the night in my bed.

The sex was a dream and our risky affair has gone on ever since — we have managed to meet even through lockdown, although I know that was wrong.

I love him and don’t want to lose him but I don’t want to lose my boyfriend either.

I love my boys’ dad and I know I should just walk away from his mate, but I can’t.


ALMOST everyone has sexual fantasies but men generally want to act out theirs while women more often use their imagination to rev up their responses.


That can cause conflict in relationships but my Sex Fantasies e-leaflet can help.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You really can. You say yourself you know what to do. So make a decision and follow it through.

That is called being an adult – and means making good choices for yourself and for people you love.

I know it is hard when your boyfriend is working away and you are lonely and bored.

Life can be hard when you are balancing money and family time but you need to focus on the positive side.

Tell your boyfriend you realise how hard he is working for you but you miss him a lot.

Say money isn’t everything and his children need him as well as you.

Ask him to try cutting back on his hours but in the meantime, work harder to make the most of your relationship by swapping sexy messages with him while he’s away.

It isn’t the same but it might just remind him of what he is missing back home.

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