My relationship with my brother feels like it is over now my dad has died

DEAR DEIDRE: DAD was the glue in my relationship with my brother. Since he died, I no longer feel I have to be civil.

I am 49 and my brother is 46. Our childhood was miserable and we have nothing in common, other than mostly unhappy memories that caused lasting damage for us both.

We live in different parts of the country and now see each other only very occasionally.

He is getting angrier and more manipulative as he gets older and we always end up rowing.

When Dad died this year, something snapped in me. I no longer want my brother in my life.

I don’t like him, nor do I love him as a brother. He has tried to make contact and resorts to anger and abuse if I don’t respond.

My younger brother and mother criticise me but, even so, I feel I am doing the right thing for myself.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your brother is unlikely to change but you can change your reaction towards him.

Get in touch with Deidre today

My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.

Send an email to [email protected]

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.

You can choose to have no contact whatsoever but if you decide to keep up some interaction, handling it in a more assertive way will help you.

Do so by staying calm and saying how you feel without getting angry or upset, no matter what he says.

My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will show you how to be more assertive in future.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I am so worried about grandson living with his angry and aggressive mother

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