My wife found out I cheated so now she wants revenge sex

DEAR DEIDRE: STUPIDLY, I cheated on my wife. It felt great at the time but now she’s found out, she wants to have sex with another guy, so we are quits.

I can’t believe I’ve got myself in this mess.


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I am 29 and I work as a delivery driver for a courier company. I have been married for four years. My wife is 26 and is a beautician.

We have a great relationship and, when we took our marriage vows, I totally believed in them.

But I had my head turned by chance after delivering to one of my customers.

I regularly drop off parcels of goods at a gift shop. The girl who normally signs on behalf of the company is 22 and very pretty. We always have a chat if I have the time.

One day last month I delivered to the shop, shortly before it was about to close, then returned to my van in the delivery yard, only to find it wouldn’t start.

I went back inside the shop and told the girl I was stuck. She said she would stay until the recovery service arrived and she would lock the gates when I’d gone.

She turned the sign on the door, and we sat chatting in the staff room. She said she was single and that she had been dating online without much success.

I told her I was married. There was a definite sexual attraction between us.

She went to the bathroom and tripped as she came back into the room. I caught her.

I leaned forward and kissed her. She responded with such passion that I took things a stage further and we had sex on the counter-top in the staff room. It was frenzied and fast and it felt amazing.

She took my number and we started texting, but my wife saw one of the messages and went ­ballistic.

She says she’s going out with her girlfriends at the weekends with a view to pulling a guy. I don’t know what I can do about it — who am I to object?

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UP to 50 per cent of women suffer from losing interest in sex. Partners can struggle with answers.

My e-leaflet How To Light Her Fire is a straight-forward self-help guide.

  • Email me at [email protected] or private-message me via my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: You are on shaky ground, for sure, but tell her that trying to score points like that will do further damage to your marriage when you both need to be strengthening it.

Say sorry, again and again, that your cheating was one huge mistake and you are not going to repeat it – and mean it, especially as these days cheating means risking spreading coronavirus.

If you love one another, you both need to invest the time and trouble to make each other feel special, so that you can remember why you got together in the first place.

Simple efforts like a romantic dinner at home together and a walk in the local park can feel great.

My e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you get things back on track.

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