8 things EastEnders' Phil Mitchell needs to do now he's returning to Albert Square

The wait is finally over – EastEnders legend Phil Mitchell is coming home to Albert Square this week. Oh yes! We may just combust with excitement to have him in our lives again.

It’s been almost three months since Phil jetted off to Alicante to work on a secret business deal (of the highly illegal variety, no doubt), but after spending his days scamming under the sun, he’s decided to return home to surprise Sharon.

The only problem is that Sharon is upstairs, sleeping with her teenage toyboy Keanu. Oh, and Louise is also in da house, having it away with Keegan. YIKES! What the heck is going to happen? Well, here’s eight things we’d like to see occurring now Phil is back where he belongs…

1. Miss out on rumbling Sheanu… for now

Phil’s cheating missus has been enjoying regular MOTs from hunky mechanic Keanu in his absence, and who can blame her? We haven’t seen Shazza this invigorated in yonks, so why spoil all the fun and sneaking around by having Phil discover their sordid affair straight away? We want Mr M to be kept in the dark for a little while longer, so the suspense can continue to build and the stakes get higher.

Will EastEnders grant many fans’ festive wish and have the explosive reveal take place on Christmas Day? Are we heading for Sharongate take two with a seasonal twist? Will Sharon find herself slung out in the snow, or could Keanu be seeing Christmas out with the shopping trolleys at the bottom of Walford Canal?

No-one does revenge quite like our Phil, so we have great expectations for this plot.

2. Give Keegan what for

Keanu won’t be the only one of Karen’s kids in need of a coffin if Phil catches Louise post-coital with Keegan. As if an overprotective tough guy like Phil is going to react well to seeing his little girl getting it on with the same boy who used to bully her! Will Keegs manage to scarper before Phil turns the colour of a tomato and gets the first punch in?

Phil’s never liked Keegan anyway, so this latest discovery is going to put the lad in even more of a perilous position, especially if he defies Phil’s wishes and carries on dating his daughter. But let’s not forget that Lou’s a headstrong little madam, so we doubt she’s going to allow her dad to ruin her chances of a new romance.

Phil vs. Keegan looks like it could be a rivalry that is set to run and run.

3. Help rid the Square of Stuart

With Mick still rotting in jail and seemingly-stupid Linda on the verge of flushing their marriage down the toilet, something has to be done to stop Stuart. And if there’s anyone who can help bring a much-needed end to this storyline, then it’s Phil. He holds the power in convincing top solicitor Ritchie to represent the locked-up landlord, and speed up his release from prison.

And when Mick does finally get free, we think he’d be a fool not to call on the services of Walford’s biggest bully to ensure Stu gets taught a lesson he’s never going to forget. Quite frankly they can do what they want with the guy – good riddance to bad rubbish!

4. For him to keep a close eye on Ray

Keegan isn’t the only fella with designs on Phil’s offspring it would seem, and that lingering look between Louise and Ray recently was a clear sign there could be trouble ahead.

Just where this surprising development could lead is anyone’s guess right now, but if Phil gets one sniff that Ray has been preying on his teenage daughter, things are going to kick off. If Ray oversteps the mark then we think he’ll be renewing his wedding vows to Mel on crutches… and that’s if Phil goes easy!

5. Explore his connection to Mitch

With news that Karen’s scumbag ex is on his way back to Walford before 2018 is out comes the hope that EastEnders are going to give us some screen time between him and Phil. Let’s not forget that when Mitch was in town earlier this year, Phil recognised him as being one of Aidan’s cronies.

It was a missed opportunity by the writers not to delve further, so we hope new boss Kate Oates doesn’t also ignore it. As he’s related to the Taylors, we can’t imagine Mitch is going to become anything other than a new nemesis for our favourite baldy. But what’s one more enemy to Phil? He collects them for a hobby.

6. To spend more time with his exes

And by exes we mean two women in particular – Shirley and Kathy. For reasons known only to the soap’s storyliners, these solid characters have been sat on the subs bench since before the summer, and it’s not on! Give the girls something to do, preferably involving Phil.

With his criminal connections, Phil can help Shirl get rid of Stuart no problem, and then lend a hand to fix her fractured family. And given that Sharon has been enjoying some extra marital delight of her own, what’s to stop Phil taking a cheeky trip down memory lane with former wife Kath?

7. Bring Ben back to Walford

We all got rather excited when Kate Oates promised us the return of two, possibly three familiar faces to E20. Doesn’t one of them really deserve to be Phil’s son Ben? Viewers were left bewildered and broken hearted by his nonsensical exit earlier this year, and life in chez Mitchell hasn’t been the same since he left.

Dare we say it, but we reckon secret softie Phil actually misses his mini-me. Now all the dramz over the missing money has finally died down (and thank God for that), the timing is perfect to get Ben back on a boat to the UK. Phil needs him by his side, and could probably do with another pair of hands in the Arches. Two birds, one stone.

8. Get Grant home for Christmas

Our appetites were whetted by Grant’s brief appearance two years ago, and knowing he’s only a plane ride away from his old stomping ground keeps us going. Could big G be one of the famous three Kate was referring to?

Think about it. Phil could be in total despair after learning the truth about Sharon and Keanu, but an unexpected yuletide homecoming from his brother would be what he needs to get himself back in fighting form for 2019.

After all, if anyone knows how to recover from being cheated on by Sharon, then it’s Grant. Ahem…

EastEnders airs on BBC One.

Digital Spy Soap Scoop video – hit play below for all the latest EastEnders spoilers, as Phil’s return leaves Sharon and Keanu in a panic, and Shirley kicks Linda out of The Vic.

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