John Cena Attacks Dr. Seuss, Maurice Sendak, and E.B. White in WWE-Inspired Rant
“Why does every children’s book we grew up with have to have somebody die?” Cena said. “That’s f–ked up man.”
Warning: all children’s book authors, John Cena is coming for you.
The "Bumblebee" star, who is a children’s author himself, appeared on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" Tuesday night to promote his book, "Elbow Grease," and his new Transformers film.
Kimmel asked the WWE star if he was worried about his book competing with the "classic" children’s stories this holiday season. Cena said he was "glad" that Kimmel brought up the subject because he had an important message for his competition.
"I have something to say to those children’s book authors out there," Cena began in the hilarious segment. The wrestling star got off the late-night show couch, walked up to the camera and stared right into it. Cena then held up a copy of Dr. Seuss classic, "Green Eggs and Ham."
"Dr. Seuss, I see you! And I’m coming for you!" Cena yelled. "’Green Eggs and Ham’ good thing you’re a doctor because it’s gonna be broken legs and jam my leg into your nugget bag!"
"That seems a little bit harsh you know," Kimmel said. "Is there anyone else you have a problem with?"
Yelling at Dr. Seuss was just the beginning as Cena then came for "Where The Wild Things Are" author Maurice Sendak and E.B. White, who wrote the classic "Charlotte’s Webb." The "Trainwreck" actor’s criticism of "Charlotte’s Webb," however, took an unexpected turn.
"Hey, E.B. White!" Cena said loudly, but then changed his tone. "You really messed me up, man."
"Why Charlotte got to die in the end?" he continued. "[She] saves the pig’s life and then dies again. Why did you have to go there you monster?!"
As the music turned melancholy, Cena pointed out the tragic deaths in other popular children’s stories, including "Bridge to Terabithia," "Old Yeller" and "Where the Red Fern Grows."
"Why does every children’s book we grew up with have to have somebody die?" Cena said. "That’s f–ked up man."
"It’s kind of true," Kimmel said. "I never really thought of it that way… in every book somebody dies, somebody’s killed."
Cena made sure to point out that "Elbow Grease" doesn’t feature anyone getting killed.
"Elbow Grease" is currently available on bookshelves and your favorite online bookseller. "Bumblebee" hits US theaters on December 21, 2018.
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