'A 9/10 but stumpy legs': £2k escort on her 'TripAdvisor for hookers' reviews

She's one of thousands of sex workers who have had their appearance, attitude, permissiveness and even intelligence rated on online message boards by the men who paid her for sex.

The practice of escort reviewing is getting more and more common, with men sharing tales of their sexual escapades with each other on agency websites all over the world – including in the UK.

Sex workers are given a star rating, and public forums allow men to discuss whether the women look like their pictures, have real or enhanced breasts and if they are willing to perform anal or unprotected oral sex.

In Britain, UK Punting is one of the more popular sites for men to discuss their escorts.

Here, women are mocked and insulted over the size of their teeth, colour of their nipples and clarity of their skin – with scarring, spots and crooked jaws leaving escorts open to ridicule and public-facing negative reviews.

Once the men have openly criticised the women they buy sex from, other men are able to to haggle down their prices, blackmailing them that they will leave even worse reviews if they refuse to sleep with them for a cheaper fee.

Some reviewers recommend sex workers based on the free parking nearby – revealing her address and identity without her permission – potentially putting her in danger.

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Two blissfully ignorant pre-teens dance naked in the hot summer air. My worn out Spice World CD blares girl power from the boombox: “If you want my future, forget my past.” In the backyard, we cover our bodies head-to-toe in acrylic paint. Dancing, singing, laughing, painting. We are so proud of our work, we run between houses to the driveway. It is dusk, almost night. Two painted children, alone on the sidewalk, gleefully waving at passing cars. Then, a clunker of teenage boys approaches. “Yeah!” they jeer, hanging from car windows, “That’s what I’m talking about!” I am transformed. I am shamed. I look down at my body: I am naked. Where are my clothes? What am I doing? My body no longer belongs to me: the boys took my body with them. #ModernWhoreNYC

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View this post on Instagram

Two blissfully ignorant pre-teens dance naked in the hot summer air. My worn out Spice World CD blares girl power from the boombox: “If you want my future, forget my past.” In the backyard, we cover our bodies head-to-toe in acrylic paint. Dancing, singing, laughing, painting. We are so proud of our work, we run between houses to the driveway. It is dusk, almost night. Two painted children, alone on the sidewalk, gleefully waving at passing cars. Then, a clunker of teenage boys approaches. “Yeah!” they jeer, hanging from car windows, “That’s what I’m talking about!” I am transformed. I am shamed. I look down at my body: I am naked. Where are my clothes? What am I doing? My body no longer belongs to me: the boys took my body with them. #ModernWhoreNYC

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View this post on Instagram

Two blissfully ignorant pre-teens dance naked in the hot summer air. My worn out Spice World CD blares girl power from the boombox: “If you want my future, forget my past.” In the backyard, we cover our bodies head-to-toe in acrylic paint. Dancing, singing, laughing, painting. We are so proud of our work, we run between houses to the driveway. It is dusk, almost night. Two painted children, alone on the sidewalk, gleefully waving at passing cars. Then, a clunker of teenage boys approaches. “Yeah!” they jeer, hanging from car windows, “That’s what I’m talking about!” I am transformed. I am shamed. I look down at my body: I am naked. Where are my clothes? What am I doing? My body no longer belongs to me: the boys took my body with them. #ModernWhoreNYC

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Though she's now left the sex industry, 28-year-old Andrea, from Toronto, Canada, worked as a $2,000-a-night escort from the age of 22-24 – and has penned a book about her work, Modern Whore.

Within her two year career, Andrea slept with over 500 clients – also known as 'Johns', many of whom left feedback on her sexual performance on a TripAdvisor-style comments section on her agency website.

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You're gonna wanna follow @modernwhore ?TURN IT UPPPP?

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'9/10 for skill and value'

In one review, a man going by the online persona Mr. CEO gave Andrea 9/10 for "skills, value and moves".

He wrote: "Mary Ann [Andrea's alias] is quite generous and thoughtful in the arts of pleasure and gives a lot back.

"Mary Ann has been to the gym since the pictures were taken. I would say she is now a bit more toned and lithe but she has retained the good parts. You would do a double take at the beach from both back and front.

He goes on to describe her as a Katy Perry lookalike, with excellent people skills and a warm and friendly personality.

Andrea's review of him, is rather less flattering.

"Mr. CEO looked like a bloated old fish stick with warts all over his face and body," she writes in her book.

"We never had sex," she continues. Mr. CEO could not physically sustain a boner
long enough to have sex, nor could he ejaculate."

'Her legs were not memorable as they are fairly short'

Another client, Don Juan, posted a three-page review of his time with Andrea – which sounds like an excerpt from Fifty Shades of Grey.

"My tongue was in her mouth, her tongue in mine, each of us sucking on each other’s
tongues, our tongues meeting outside of our mouths. She is absolutely a fabulous kisser in every respect," one line read.

Andrea is quick to bring Don Juan back to reality in her book, where she reveals most of his erotic writing is actually a lie.

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Mr.CEO’s review of me reads more like Mary Tyler Moore fanfiction than an objective assessment of my work as a service provider. “I always wanted to sleep with Mary Tyler Moore with slightly bigger boobs,” he writes on a local escort review board. Admittedly, the resemblance is uncanny, and the rest of his review is complimentary: “Pretty brunette… warm and friendly… you could see this person running an art gallery or playing the flute in a symphony orchestra, and she is quite the flute player.” While he says some nice things about my pussy, for instance, “Impeccable hygiene and a welcome reception induced prolonged dining,” (was he my third or fourth of the night? I can’t recall), the problem arises when he mentions the sex: “Doggie was nice while squeezing those natural C’s from behind.” Thing is, there was no doggie, and there was no sex because Mr.CEO could not get hard. He made up an entire section of his review, and that’s where escort review board culture becomes problematic for sex workers. Not only are reviews entirely unverifiable, review boards are not the place for us to defend ourselves. “Hobbyists” lord their words over our heads and threaten bad reviews if we don’t let them transgress our boundaries to satisfy their desires. The men who reviewed me did so on a public online forum. It was only right for me to publish them verbatim in my book, followed by my reviews of them, no? #ModernWhoreNYC

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Mr.CEO’s review of me reads more like Mary Tyler Moore fanfiction than an objective assessment of my work as a service provider. “I always wanted to sleep with Mary Tyler Moore with slightly bigger boobs,” he writes on a local escort review board. Admittedly, the resemblance is uncanny, and the rest of his review is complimentary: “Pretty brunette… warm and friendly… you could see this person running an art gallery or playing the flute in a symphony orchestra, and she is quite the flute player.” While he says some nice things about my pussy, for instance, “Impeccable hygiene and a welcome reception induced prolonged dining,” (was he my third or fourth of the night? I can’t recall), the problem arises when he mentions the sex: “Doggie was nice while squeezing those natural C’s from behind.” Thing is, there was no doggie, and there was no sex because Mr.CEO could not get hard. He made up an entire section of his review, and that’s where escort review board culture becomes problematic for sex workers. Not only are reviews entirely unverifiable, review boards are not the place for us to defend ourselves. “Hobbyists” lord their words over our heads and threaten bad reviews if we don’t let them transgress our boundaries to satisfy their desires. The men who reviewed me did so on a public online forum. It was only right for me to publish them verbatim in my book, followed by my reviews of them, no? #ModernWhoreNYC

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Mr.CEO’s review of me reads more like Mary Tyler Moore fanfiction than an objective assessment of my work as a service provider. “I always wanted to sleep with Mary Tyler Moore with slightly bigger boobs,” he writes on a local escort review board. Admittedly, the resemblance is uncanny, and the rest of his review is complimentary: “Pretty brunette… warm and friendly… you could see this person running an art gallery or playing the flute in a symphony orchestra, and she is quite the flute player.” While he says some nice things about my pussy, for instance, “Impeccable hygiene and a welcome reception induced prolonged dining,” (was he my third or fourth of the night? I can’t recall), the problem arises when he mentions the sex: “Doggie was nice while squeezing those natural C’s from behind.” Thing is, there was no doggie, and there was no sex because Mr.CEO could not get hard. He made up an entire section of his review, and that’s where escort review board culture becomes problematic for sex workers. Not only are reviews entirely unverifiable, review boards are not the place for us to defend ourselves. “Hobbyists” lord their words over our heads and threaten bad reviews if we don’t let them transgress our boundaries to satisfy their desires. The men who reviewed me did so on a public online forum. It was only right for me to publish them verbatim in my book, followed by my reviews of them, no? #ModernWhoreNYC

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But not all reviews are quite as flattering as Don and Mr CEO's.

One user commented on Andrea: "Her legs were not memorable as they are fairly short."

Raped for a good review

And bad reviews can put sex workers in danger.

As Andrea says: "There’s nothing stopping a man from fabricating a bad review, be it out of boredom or out of spite.
"A bad review for a sex worker can have serious implications: beyond damaging her hard-won reputation, it can also destroy her business by dissuading both new and returning clients.

"If a client has a chip on his shoulder because a sex worker has declined, for instance, to do anal when maybe she’s agreed to do it in the past, the client-cum-critic can easily say, 'If we don’t do anal, I’ll have to write a bad review.'

"This puts the already vulnerable sex worker in a difficult position: say no to anal and bye-bye to her business, or say yes and get raped for a good review."

Personal hygiene problems

Andrea admits that most of her encounters were far from glamorous – with personal hygiene occasionally being a serious problem.

Speaking about the beginning of her career Andrea said: “The men I’d serviced, on the whole, were clean and professional gentlemen not above giving their junk a rinse before inviting a beautiful lady over for a $260 hour of sex."

However this all changed one day with one new client in a basement apartment, with Andrea explaining: "In silence he looked at me, sliding off his sweatpants, revealing a small penis surrounded by thick stubble. A quick preliminary whiff of his d**k conveyed notes of cheese and black mould."

'No one deserves to be raped'

Despite the entertaining and tongue-in-cheek stories, there is also a serious message behind the book.

Revealing the dark side of the industry, Andrea – who says she enjoyed connecting with strangers on "a deep level" – also recalls her feelings of shame when she was raped out of the blue by regular client Walt.

Describing the incident she said: "Relentlessly and with unseen fierceness, he pounded my painfully contorted body as hard as ever. Whether it was fear or guilt or shame or duty that kept me there I don't know, but I stayed."

She added: "Everything I knew about rape culture told me prostitutes get raped because they put themselves in sexually vulnerable positions for money.

"So by putting myself in a vulnerable position, [I felt] it was my fault Walter Wack raped me.

"No one deserves to be raped. No one."

The former sex worker also hopes her book will contribute to the important discussion around the #MeToo movement, telling the Guardian: "I think it's a really good time to talk about sex work because we're talking about sex more openly – sexual abuse, harrassment and rape.

"I actually think we're in a place where the more critically minded of us can confront these issues head-on."

 

Now, Andrea works as as peer outreach worker for sex workers rights organisation Maggie's Toronto, and is also a writer and performer, and while she has put her sex work behind her, she insists she isn't ashamed of her decision, and included the word w***e in the title of her book to re-appropriate the the term.

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