A Trump is finally being kind and decent…Melania

WHO would have thought that Melania Trump would be the voice of reason, kindness and unity?

Up until now, the woman who resembles a waxwork dummy appeared to have spent her time as First Lady looking utterly miserable and trying to avoid taking her husband’s paw.

However, while Donald has been bouncing around like an over-excited orange space hopper since testing positive for Covid, threatening to slobber over every man, woman and child, Melania has shown wisdom and kindness.

The frozen-faced former model, who previously showed all the warmth of Antarctica, said: “I want people to know that I understand just how fortunate my family is to have received the kind of care that we did.”

She talked of her concern about her 14-year-old son Barron, who also tested positive for the virus, and described having Covid herself as like being on a roller-coaster, with her body aching and feeling exhausted.

Melania hasn’t made much of an impact as First Lady, partly because she didn’t sign up for it, but also because her husband doesn’t like sharing the stage with anyone else, even his wife.

If Donald wasn’t such an egotist, he would have realised that Melania could have been one of his biggest assets, smoothing his rough edges and providing some much-needed calm waters in the choppy seas of the White House.

It really struck me that there has not been one word of concern about his wife or son from Donald, even though they have both had the virus.

Instead, full to the brim of anti-Covid drugs that seem to make him think he’s a cross between the Messiah and a superhero, Trump has been bellowing about how he has “defeated” the virus and is now immune.

He more or less dismissed the fact his son tested positive, calling it a mild case, and saying Barron probably didn’t even know he had the virus.

You would have thought that when Trump ended up in hospital it might have made him a little more humble, and maybe even caused him to rethink his gung-ho attitude.

Instead, he went on that ridiculous joyride to greet supporters outside the hospital and has doubled down on the bombastic rhetoric, continuing to hold election rallies where many in the crowd clearly aren’t social distancing and are also failing to wear masks.

Toddler overdosing on blue Smarties

It’s incredibly sad, and also very dangerous, that the virus has been politicised in the US to the extent that if you wear a face covering you are automatically a Trump hater and if you don’t you are some kind of freedom fighter “Making America Great Again”.

It’s a road to hell for a once-great nation renowned as standing for fairness and democracy.

What the American people need right now is a sensible, reasoned approach to tackling this virus. Instead, they have a man who resembles a toddler over-dosing on blue Smarties.

Maybe it’s time to cut down his cocktail of medication. And here’s a plea from the heart: Will someone please take his mobile phone away from him to stop the incoherent tweets.

The US should have been uniting the world in the fight against Covid, but maybe Trump thought there was nothing in that for him personally.

His toxic presidency has divided the nation, and almost 220,000 souls have died from the virus under his watch. Meanwhile, it’s left to Melania to be the only one who sounds in any way presidential.

Sir David a natural PM

I HAVE invented a new game. It’s called Fantasy Cabinet.

You have to choose who you would want in charge of the country right now in an ideal world. To kick us off, here are some of my choices.

PM – David Attenborough. I make no apologies for such an obvious choice. He’d sort out Covid and global warning in one afternoon.

Chancellor – money expert Martin Lewis. He has a knowledge of finance second to none, he can’t be hoodwinked and will always stick up for the little guy.

Home Secretary – Dawn French. She’s kind, completely fair, big-hearted, sensible and everyone trusts her.

Foreign Secretary – Michael Palin. He’s not only the loveliest man in the world, but also widely travelled, with an understanding of humanity and has buckets of tact and diplomacy.

Health Secretary – Dr Hilary Jones. A beacon of common sense, clarity and reassurance. He’s passionate about the NHS and knows what it’s like at the coal face.

Culture secretary – Billy Connolly because he is ass-kickingly brilliant. Billy loves the arts, football and music and is totally down to earth and relatable. Over to you.

RED HAIR AFFAIR

SHARON OSBOURNE has gone back to her fiery Titian hair colour, saying she wanted to wash the grey away.

She reckons bright red hair makes her look younger and many agree, but I do not. I think her ash-grey hair was the height of elegance and sophistication, softening her features and taking years off her.

Grey hair is no longer a sign of growing old, it’s a badge of honour – and a very alluring one.

WAKE UP TO PIERS

PIERS MORGAN has a new book out, although he is obviously keeping it quiet and has never mentioned it at all on air – well, apart from waving the cover around maniacally in front of all the cameras at every opportunity.

It is a rollicking good read and an impassioned rant against cancel culture and wokeness.

It is also very funny and gives an insight into the world of Piers since the start of the pandemic.

I get a mention about the time we went into full lockdown and presenters had to do their own hair and make-up.

Piers was very heavy handed with the powder puff and turned up looking even more terracotta than Trump.

As I chortled at his discomfort, I told him he looked like “a satsuma had a fling with a tangerine and then they both went to a tanning booth”. If you want to be entertained and enraged, give Wake Up a go.

IN RUDE HEALTH

NOT much to smile about as we face the second Covid wave and parts of the country are waking up to increasing levels of lockdown.

But I did have a chuckle at the mortification of mum Louise Hosie, whose five-year-old daughter Summer found a bottle of naughty lubricant in the cupboard and thought it was hand sanitiser.

She duly took it to school and shared it with her pals.

Louise, from Livingston, West Lothian, found the bottle of Heat Wave lube in her daughter’s coat pocket, which led to a bit of an awkward conversation.

I reckon she should be proud of her daughter. The little girl read the Ann Summers label on the bottle and – not unreasonably, as her name is Summer – thought it was for her.

And although she is only five years old, she is taking the whole hand washing and sanitising message very seriously indeed. Maybe Mum should keep her Ann Summers goodies in a more secret place in future.

CALL THE MIDWIFE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

WE might be living in an awful dystopian sci-fi film, with rubbish special effects and appalling dialogue – but all is not lost.

There will be a Call The Midwife Christmas special, thanks to the skills of writer and creator Heidi Thomas and the clever production team, who man-aged to get all the filming done in time.

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without the wonderful, wise women of Nonnatus House bringing new life into the world, and this year it will be even more emotional than ever.

PHILLIP FINDING HIS WAY

I WORKED with Phillip Schofield for a couple of years on This Morning and he was a delight – a consummate professional and a truly generous co-host.

I have always admired his work ethic, but I was shocked at the end of last year to see him looking thin, careworn and utterly exhausted.

And when he didn’t turn up for work one day, it was clear something was badly wrong. What the rest of the world didn’t know was that he was fighting a highly personal battle and almost going under.

Only his wife Stephanie, his daughters and a small circle of close friends, including Holly Willoughby – his “TV sister” –  knew that Phillip was struggling with his sexuality.

He chose to tell us he was gay live on air, with Holly by his side and his friends and colleagues from This Morning close by. He was extremely nervous about the kind of reception he would receive, but it was overwhelmingly supportive.

Of course there’s a hell of a lot more to Phillip than that particular moment. His 40-year career in TV has had highs and lows, and all of these are to be found in his new book, Life’s What You Make It.

I guarantee you will belly laugh your way through this, and also admire Phillip’s honesty when he talks about the life-changing events of the past year.

He hasn’t lost his sense of humour, joking that when he came out, the rest of the world went in, as it was all just before lockdown.

Phillip is finding his way with the support of his wife and daughters, who love him dearly – and that’s all that really matters.

NOT USED TO CELEBRATIONS

I’M really not at all sure how to react to the latest wins by the Scotland football team.

It’s been such a long time since we had something to celebrate that I’m not au fait with the protocol.

I think it has to do with drinking vast quantities of booze and singing Flower Of Scotland. Or at least, that’s what I did.

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