Miss USA Cheslie Kryst penned heartbreaking essay about turning 30, trolls and working herself to death before 'suicide'

MISS USA winner Cheslie Kryst penned a heartbreaking essay about being trolled and how she had been working herself to death before her 'suicide'.

Kryst made history as the oldest Miss USA winner at 28-years-old, which gave her a different perspective compared to other titleholders.

In the essay, written for Allure in March last year, Kryst said that she “cringed” at the thought of turning 30. “Society has never been kind to those growing old, especially women,” she wrote.

“…Turning 30 feels like a cold reminder that I’m running out of time to matter in society’s eyes – and it’s infuriating.”

She detailed her struggle with “the relentless tick of time” and being enamored with “20 under 20” and “30 under 30” lists that linked achievement to being young and successful. 

According to Kryst, that kind of mindset created an unfortunate side effect on young people, who might have been encouraged to accomplish feats as fast as possible.

After graduating from college, Kryst continued her studies at Wake Forest University to get a law degree and an MBA at the same time, joining a trial team to win a national championship.

“I nearly worked myself to death, literally, until an eight-day stint in a local hospital sparked the development of a new perspective,” she said.

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It was there that Kryst said she reflected on her work ethic and said that her achievements only rewarded her “with a lonely craving for the next award.”

Read our Cheslie Kryst live blog for the very latest news and updates…


Upon winning Miss USA, Kryst said her term was one filled with purpose and that she desired to “commit myself to passion, intent and authenticity.”

She compared herself to other pageant girls, who are model-tall and thin with “don bouffant hair and have a killer walk.” Kryst, who competed in Division I Track and Field, had six-pack abs and natural curls.

In her words, being “too Black” has prevented many black women from winning on the pageant stage.

“My challenge of the status quo has certainly caught the attention of the trolls,” she said, adding that she’s had to delete comments on social due to negative comments about her appearance.

“And that was just my looks. My opinions, on the other hand, were enough to make a traditional pageant fan clutch their pearls.”

In the past, Kryst often spoke candidly on the legalization of marijuana, President Donald Trump’s immigration policies,and criminal justice reform. She was a public supporter of the Black Lives Matter movement and marched in protests.

“I wasn’t searching to collect more awards or recognition during my reign. Rather, I fed the passion that made waking up earth morning feel worthwhile: speaking out against injustice.”

Kryst concluded the essay with now-haunting words about searching for “joy and purpose” as she entered her 30th year.

“And that feels like my own sweet victory.” 


Kryst was found dead after falling from the 29th floor of her Midtown apartment building in New York City.

An investigation is underway, however, police believe the former beauty queen, who lived on the 9th floor, jumped to her death.

Chillingly, Kryst shared a photo of herself on Instagram just hours before her death with the caption, “May this day bring you rest and peace.”

“In devastation and great sorrow, we share the passing of our beloved Cheslie,” read a statement from Kryst’s family. “Her great light was one that inspired others around the world with her beauty and strength.

“She cares, she loved, she laughed and she shined. Cheslie embodied love and served others, whether through her work as an attorney or fighting for social justice, as Miss USA and as a host on EXTRA.

“But most importantly, as a daughter sister, friend mentor and colleague – we know her impact will live on.”

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