Women share how they've learned to give less of a sh*t about what you think

When Rachel McAdams posed for Bustle proudly showing off her armpit hair this week, she oozed ‘who gives a f**k?’ energy.

Lounging in trousers and a corset and posing the house right down in a white gown, she looked powerful and gorgeous.

‘With this shoot, I’m wearing latex underwear,’ she told the publication, ‘but I’ve had two children. This is my body, and I think that’s so important to reflect back out to the world.

‘It’s okay to look your best and work at it and be healthy, but that’s different for everyone.’

This fabulous show of confidence from the actress made us want to hear from other women who found fresh chutzpah, body neutrality, or just the ability to just not give a sh*t about stuff anymore.

CEO, author, and presenter Sonya Barlow tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Generally, I have always been a little quirkier when dressing and not the typical business person.

‘This has often got me a few trolls or even bullies growing up. Therefore, I now make it a point to find my armour and dress how I want to unlock my own confidence, as well as show other women especially (brown girls) they can wear what they want, show up how they want online, be themselves and still achieve their dream careers or lifestyles.’

Lisa Valentine, who works in PR, says her adolescence in the 90s saw her ‘battle the skinny girl nonsense’ of the era.

‘I grew up at a time when women were incredibly objectified,’ she says. ‘Think the page 3 era and ladette culture. By the time I was 13, I had huge boobs and hips, a tiny waist, and long blonde hair.

‘I had grown men groping me and commenting on them at least once a week – my school bus driver being one of them. I spent most of my teens and adulthood trying to hide my body after grown men commented on my 32FF chest. Now I honestly adore it.’

She got tattoos in a bid to ‘take ownership’ over her body, but it wasn’t until tragedy struck that Lisa’s confidence levels really changed.

‘I’d been in relationships all my life,’ she says, ‘until my fiancé died suddenly when we were both 30. I then dated for the first time ever.

‘I enjoyed one-night stands, bought sex toys, and finally found myself. I got married and, nine years in, we still have the best intimacy and I finally enjoy it all. I got really comfortable in my skin for the first time and wore my first-ever bikini that year.

‘My body is not traditionally “perfect”. I’m slightly overweight and have a post-pregnancy tummy, cellulite, whatever, but I honestly do not care. I went topless on a family holiday in 2016 for the first time and felt amazing.’

Metro.co.uk’s own Kristina Beanland tells us that it’s perfectly natural to have ‘ups and downs with body confidence’, but marathon running was something that helped her reevaluate her relationship with her body.

‘I went through a phase of doing 5:2 diets and stepping on the scales most days,’ she explains.

‘Now it’s like “well f*ck it, I’ve run two marathons!” I might not always want to wear a bodycon dress, but it’s given me a respect for my body that I don’t think I had before.

‘I just prioritise different things now when it comes to my body. I’d rather be fit than skinny.’

Sammy Marshall, who also works in public relations, recalls: ‘Younger me used to think shaving was hugely important if I was going on a date because of the potential of them seeing me naked. Before, doing so with hairy legs was too horrific for me to imagine, but now, even if I know that’s all we’re going to do it doesn’t matter.

‘My dating life shouldn’t rule my shaving routine.’

When asked what the catalyst of her mindset shift was, Sonya, who’s Pakistani British, tells us: ‘It was exhausting trying to be someone else.

‘It wasn’t authentic if I wasn’t online and living my true values. Also, there’s a gap in the market and a need for an authentic ordinary everyday brown woman doing amazing things and being themselves unapologetically, which is what I bring to the table.’

Sammy says the thing that helped her care less about body hair was getting out of a ‘comfortable relationship.’

‘I think when that ended,’ she adds, ‘I just had a time of self-exploration. And honestly, changing the people I was around as well really helped.’

Lisa, who’s turning 40 in a few weeks, now has two adult daughters who she’s raised to be confident in their bodies.

She says: ‘I have never dieted and shown any insecurity about my body to them – I was determined to raise them to be confident women and they are.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing [email protected].

Source: Read Full Article