Soap watch with Steven Murphy: Daisy's big day horror

2023-03-25

Soap watch with Steven Murphy: Daisy’s big day horror

Daisy and Daniel look set to tie the knot in Coronation Street – but all is not well
READ MORE: Soapwatch with JACI STEPHEN: Stephen’s on the PROWL

Coronation Street

Sometimes, we long for a simple soap wedding. Corrie’s first-ever nuptials back in 1961, which saw Annie Walker’s daughter Joan marry fellow schoolteacher Gordon Davies, featured two hiccups: a delay when the bride’s car wouldn’t start, followed by a shock revelation that the groom’s family were teetotal.

Some 134 weddings on, these days the car would have a bomb planted inside by a vengeful gangster and the groom’s dry clan would be a sinister cult, poised to make a ritual sacrifice of the bride on her honeymoon.

It’s Daisy’s turn for big-day drama this week and it’s all been signposted, her Scottish stalker lurking in plain sight twice an episode for at least three months.

There’s an attempt at misdirection: Daisy wakes up with a bloodshot eye, the wedding car disappears, and the wrong cake arrives. Soon, she’s convinced her big day is cursed. Well, funny you should say that, love…

Daisy and Daniel look set to tie the knot in Coronation Street but all is not well (left and right) – her Scottish stalker lurking in plain sight twice an episode for at least three months

Approaching Daisy, Justin informs the object of his twisted affections that no one will want her after what he’s about to do, and then throws a glass of acid at her

So many questions

While viewers will be glued to the wedding drama, Charlotte Jordan (Daisy) may be a little distracted.

‘I’ll watch with my boyfriend, who likes to ask 100 questions. He’s a nightmare!’ she laughs

With help from Jenny and Glenda, she casts off her nerves and throws on her frock, emerging down the Rovers’ stairs looking every inch the Insta-perfect bride she reckons her followers deserve.

But as Jenny and Glenda leave, up pops Justin. Approaching Daisy, he informs the object of his twisted affections that no one will want her after what he’s about to do, and then throws a glass of acid at her.

Corrie are staying tight-lipped on how this will end, but we have a feeling it’s not going to be with a conga round to Victoria Street.

If you’re after something a little lighter, behold Brian’s delight as he discovers he’s 8 per cent Italian and plans to track down his Roman cousins.

We can only hope this plot will lead to the wonderful Peter Gunn sporting boot-polished hair and a pencil moustache to play Brian’s Italian cousin, Briani. Bellissimo!

EastEnders

Sharon continues the fine Walford tradition of naming businesses after dead relatives this week, as she opens Boxing Den.

Of course, back in the day the same gym was called Basher Jim’s (after Dot’s late hubby, an ex-boxer). It sits just around the corner from Peggy’s (after Phil’s mum), which itself used to be Scarlet (after Johnny Allen’s late daughter), and before that, Angie’s Den (not that Sharon’s a one-trick pony or anything).

Meanwhile, the caff was named Kathy’s for so long that the old girl had to take the hint, raise herself from the dead and reclaim it.

Anyway, having given up the ghost on that permanently deserted gym she’s been running for the last two years, Sharon’s got into bed with Phil to open this new venture, which better reflects the grit of the area.

But when the locals gather to toast the endeavour, there’s some surprise entertainment – and it’s a knockout. Cue young Keanu making a very public declaration of his love for Sharon.

Now I’m no prude but Sharon’s nearly 54 and Keanu is 23 – you could fit a whole member of One Direction in that age gap.

Still, Keanu throws himself down on one knee (show-off, I could do that too at his age) to pop the question. A shocked Sharon struggles to voice her reply, but her face speaks a thousand words… none of which seems to be ‘Yes’.

Despite only being 23, Keanu Taylor, played by Danny Walters, declares his love for Sharon, 54, on EastEnders

’Allo, ’allo… it’s Jo Cotton!

Rocky’s looking rather nervous as Kathy decides to set a date for the wedding, and with good reason – he’s still married to wife Jo, who arrives on the Square this week.

Jo is played by Vicki Michelle, well known for her role as waitress Yvette in classic sitcom ’Allo ’Allo!. ‘I’m so excited to be in EastEnders and everyone has been so lovely,’ says Vicki. ‘Jo Cotton is a great character, and it’s such a great story. I can’t wait for the viewers to meet her.’

Good Lord! Never pick a fight with a 6ft vicar

Emmerdale

Now on his third attempt to get his hands on the surgery’s drug stash, Alex is delighted to have finally intercepted a pharmacy van delivery – but he is stopped by Charles

God loves a trier, so they say. Well tell that to Alex this week. Now on his third attempt to get his hands on the surgery’s drug stash, he’s delighted to finally succeed after cunningly intercepting the pharmacy van delivery.

However, divine intervention soon stops him in his tracks. Has he had an epiphany – some glorious message from God that’s made him see the error of his ways?

Nope, but he has been tackled to the ground by a 6ft vicar who’s caught him out. Charles wrestles with the thief, but Alex is slipperier than a Home Farm trout and gets away with his stash.

Later, we see the bad lad standing on the side of the road, chatting on his phone. Suddenly, a passing car knocks him to the ground. A figure looks at the lifeless body before fleeing. Has Charles taken divine retribution? Or will we discover that the Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways?

Elsewhere, Charity’s in for a nasty shock. As a graduate of the University of Life, with at least a master’s degree in blackmail, extortion, manipulation and general scammery, can you imagine how she must feel to discover that her own son has just had every penny of his trust fund spirited off by scheming Samson? Where did she go wrong?

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