25 years after passing my driving test, there's one thing I'm terrified to do

I was working away at my desk recently when my phone beeped with a WhatsApp from a friend.

It was a video clip of that morning’s Loose Women. On it Ruth Langsford could be heard saying: ‘A third of drivers get parking panic. One in 10 of them even admitted to asking a complete stranger to park the car for them…’ 

‘See you’re not the only one,’ my friend wrote.

Anyone else might have been insulted, or horrified at her cheek – but I smiled, knowing instantly what she meant.

She was referring to the fact that whenever we plan to meet for dinner, drinks or even a playdate with our kids, my first question is always: ‘What’s the parking like?’

I’m a decent driver and I’ve never had an accident (touch wood). I don’t mind driving long distances to see friends and family across the country, or going to London for work meetings and events. 

I’ve even braved being behind the wheel in a left-hand drive rented Mustang across the States on my honeymoon.

But when it comes to parking, it’s a totally different matter. It brings me out in a hot sweat and makes my stomach lurch just thinking about it.

I’m fortunate that my car has parking sensors and even a camera to assist me with the task – it beeps if I get too close to something, and there’s the option of adjusting the perspective to a bird’s eye view, too.

However, no amount of automotive tech can take away the anxiety I face when trying to manoeuvre our car into a small rectangular space. 

When I first passed my driving test aged 17, I had learnt to parallel park with fine precision in my instructor’s little red Corsa. I knew when to turn the wheel and exactly how many times to turn it before straightening it up again and completing the manoeuvre.

However, as the years went on, the cars I drove changed and this formula didn’t work any more. 

Moving to London after university and having to parallel park quickly on narrow, often very busy, London streets, made it all seem much more stressful. While the driving itself was fine, the thought of a queue of traffic waiting impatiently and beeping as I jerked my car backwards and forwards umpteen times into a tiny space, filled me with embarrassment and terror.  

In my children’s school car park at drop-off each morning, I’m known for lapping the site numerous times to find the ‘perfect’ spot. It’s the same in the supermarket – I love the ones which you can drive all the way through 

And, aside from my friends’ banter about the subject, even my own children, aged seven and 10, groan about my inability to reverse into the lines without numerous attempts.

‘You’re still not in the lines!’ they moan, shaking their heads and making sure none of their friends see.

Over the years, I’ve become used to planning my life around it, too. Making sure I arrive early to school in the morning so there are more free spaces. And if we’re going somewhere, like our local trampoline park, in which I know parking is notoriously tight, I’ll arrange someone to drop us off – or get there ridiculously early to ensure there’s the ideal space.

The stat that one in 10 people have admitted asking a complete stranger to park their car for them doesn’t surprise me in the slightest, either.

Years ago, when we lived in London and had to parallel park our old Audi on the side of our extremely narrow residential street, there were numerous occasions when I got so flustered that I gave up, got out, and sought the help of an innocent bystander… All of whom kindly obliged!

Although I’ve got a couple of friends who are anxious drivers, I’d assumed I was the only one who felt this way about parking. So to hear that it’s an actual thing, and that I’m not the only one who feels like this, was strangely comforting.

Indeed, an online search yielded some shocking stats.

A 2018 study by Nissan found that 39% of UK drivers felt scared, nervous, uneasy, or uncertain behind the wheel in general – with 27% of respondents saying they had a fear of parking.

Plus, a 2020 survey from Select Car Leasing revealed that female motorists fear parking on busy roads the most, with 40% saying they are uncomfortable parking on them, as opposed to 24% of men.

However, it also revealed that men are the most afraid of supermarket parking.

I even found a recent article that described Ulrika Jonsson’s panic attack after being unable to connect to the server to pay for her parking on a recent trip to London – admitting that parking, and paying for it, had become more difficult than ever.

While I’m still surprised to know that so many other people also experience the same sense of fear and trepidation about parking, I also find it reassuring to know that I’m not alone.

Still, I’ve never sought expert help for my ‘problem’. In truth, in the 25 years I’ve been driving, I’ve never really reflected on, or acknowledged it before.

But now I realise that it’s up to me to try to improve things – not just for my benefit, but also for the benefit of my children. 

So, I think it’s time to face my fear head on.

Next time I go out in the car, I’ll try to remind myself that I am a good driver and that I can park the car. Remind myself that positive thinking goes a long way to support change.

I’ll also challenge myself to try and park in a space that I wouldn’t usually attempt, and try not to panic if there’s a queue of traffic waiting behind me.

Knowing that a third of drivers feel the same as me means that hopefully they’ll be a bit more forgiving if I don’t manage it the first time, or second… or third!

If all else fails, at least there’s always my bike.

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