Alcoholic transforms after going sober – but ‘can’t remember most of her life’

2022-07-31

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A woman has said she can't remember the majority of her life after struggling with alcoholism for the best part of a decade.

Claire Moorhouse, 46, from West Yorkshire, is known to her over 23,000 Instagram followers for breeding Irish Wolfhounds and White Swiss Shepheard Dogs, but more recently she's also started using her platform to speak about her struggles with alcohol.

She often posts transformation pictures as well as TikTok videos that show how she ditched the booze, sobered up and shed the pounds.

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Speaking exclusively to The Daily Star she spoke openly about how she made the great decision to ditch the booze after drinking too much led her to blacking out, and she was left with no recollection of it all.

Even though there was a point where she would have a drink every afternoon, she said it took her a while to realise she had a problem.

Claire said: "When I think back to my teens, 20s and early 30s I thought I had a normal relationship with drinking.

"I was brought up with drinking, and drinking had always been a part of society, so I thought it was normal.

"When I was in my mid-30s I realised it had become something other than normal.

"There was a point when I realised I needed to stop, so I tried to quit."

She said she tried to stop drinking on and off for 10 years, but would often slip back into the habit again.

Looking back on the time in her life when she was heavily drinking, she said it was also hard for people to spot.

She explained she didn't look like the "stereotypical alcoholic", and was very much functioning in day-to-day life.

Claire said: "I was a functioning alcoholic. I didn't drink for breakfast.

"I would start drinking at around 2pm or 3pm, and then I would drink until I went to bed.

"I would do the shopping and take the kids where they needed to go, and then I would start drinking."

It was a vicious cycle until one day she said she hit her lowest point, and she considered taking her own life.

This is when she knew something needed to be done to aid the problem.

Claire continued: "I reached rock bottom – I wanted to end my own life.

"That's when I stopped drinking.

"I was burying the problems for years. I was struggling with other things, so I attempted to end everything, and I woke up and I thought 'stop – this needs to end.'

"That really opened my eyes – the morning after I was completely terrified."

After realising she was lucky to wake up the next morning, Claire said it was the turning point that encouraged her to completely change her life.

She joined Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), which she said has been a "big help" to her, but admitted it took her three attempts to actually walk through the door.

The mum cried outside the first time she went to a meeting, because she found it so hard and emotional, and it was the first time she started opening up about her personal issues.

"I didn't go anywhere or see anyone," she explained.

"I didn't tell anyone what I did or how I was feeling."

Nearly 12 months since she gave up the booze, Claire is in a completely different place, and she's also lost 87lbs since she started her new life without alcohol.

"People tend to put on weight when they stop drinking, but I was already very overweight," she said.

"I went on a diet when I gave up drinking and I've lost 87lbs since that time.

"I just thought I didn't want to stop one thing, but start another addiction.

"I think I probably have an addictive personality.

"There was a lot of other stuff I was dealing with, and I would have a drink.

"I love not drinking and I don't want to go back to it at all, but there are days when I think 'I could do with a drink right now.'

"It's not going to fix anything."

Even though Claire admits it's been a difficult journey, and she's still working hard to keep going, she feels a lot happier and healthier now.

The transformation pictures and videos she posts on social media shows how much better she looks with her slimmer figure, glowing smile and positive can-do attitude.

By telling her story she hopes other people will learn how easy it can be to turn to booze in times of struggle, and how it can go unmissed when a person is starting to develop a bit of a problem.

She said, at the end of the day, alcohol is a drug and people need to remember this when they hit the bottle.

Claire added: "Many people don't understand that drink is a drug.

"The amount of problems alcohol can cause – it's the devil.

"People have a couple and think it's normal.

"We celebrate everything with drink. When it's sunny – we drink. When we're sad – we drink.

"I used to think blacking out was normal – I used to drink, wake up the next morning and not be able to remember anything.

"I thought a black out was to be completely unconscious lying in your own p**s, but I'd black out all the time.

"I couldn't remember anything. I can't remember the majority of my life.

"I was fully functioning – I ran a business and brought my children up well."

Now she admits she's a totally different person, even though she said she's "still in recovery" and takes each day at a time.

She said she's still learning about lots of things, and is now using her down time to watch all the old movies she can't remember watching when she was drunk.

The mum also takes pride in spending time outdoors, and with her family and the dogs.

She said, what she wants a lot of people to take away from her story, is that alcoholism can come in all shapes and forms and not one person looks the same.

Claire doesn't want people to think you have to be drunk in the gutter to need help, as there are a lot of people you may walk past in the street who could be struggling.

She said: "It's the person you see in the supermarket, the person you seeing pushing a pushchair or the man going to the gym.

"They are normal people who have kids."

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