Asking For A Friend: Wtf is squirting?

Asking For A Friend is the series where we answer the questions you don’t want to ask.

If you’ve ever been asked whether or not you can squirt by a softboi who thinks he knows everything he needs to know about female pleasure, we can relate.

Squirting, or female ejaculation, seems to have become the ultimate signifier of female pleasure.

Over the years, both women and men have felt shame over the absence of squirting, which has (wrongly) been assumed to mean absence of orgasm or lack of pleasure in general.

The truth is, this is completely false, and squirting is not as common as we’ve been led to believe (yes, the squirting you see in porn is usually fake). 

All of these misconceptions can lead to people feeling broken or bad at sex. So, it’s time to demystify the all elusive squirting. 

What is squirting? 

While we’ve all heard about squirting, we actually don’t know much about it in general. This is because the scientific research on squirting is sorely lacking. 

But here’s what we do know.

‘Squirting happens for some vulva owners during vaginal intercourse, manual stimulation, or stimulation with a toy of the clitourethrovaginal complex,’ Gigi Engle, an ACS certified sexologist and 3Fun sex and relationships expert, tells Metro.co.uk. 

The clitourethrovaginal complex is the fancy word for the combination of, and relationship between, the clitoris, urethra and vagina. 

According to Gigi, there are two kinds of squirting that occur: squirting through the Skene’s glands and a gushing squirt.

Both are emitted through the urethra.

‘Squirting has been thought to happen only when the Skene’s glands expel an alkaline, milky white fluid,’ Gigi says.

‘This usually happens when G-spot stimulation is involved somewhere in the sexual play, but not in every case.’

The Skene’s glands, explains Gigi, are located by the G-spot (at the back end of the internal clitoris) and the urethral sponge, and the fluid is similar to prostate fluid. 

The Skene’s glands only release about one to two tablespoons of liquid in total so, if you or your partner tend to squirt more, it’s coming from the bladder, not the Skene’s. This is gushing squirting. 

‘Whether you’re squirting entirely through the Skene’s Glands, which is unlikely, considering its proximity to the liquid-rich urethral sponge, or gushing it out from the bladder and the Skene’s Glands, it makes zero sense that squirt wouldn’t have some pee in it,’ Gigi adds. 

Can you orgasm without squirting? 

While orgasm and squirting usually happen in tandem, they don’t always. 

‘They are two different physiological functions,’ explains Gigi.

‘Usually, if you’re manipulating the clitourethrovaginal complex, it’s in a sexual context, and when you really “let go” it’s at the time of climax, that’s why they can happen together.’

That said, people can squirt on command, by manipulating the Skene’s glands and urethral sponge, without actually orgasming. This means that people can squirt during intercourse despite not having orgasmed. 

Conversely, you can definitely orgasm without squirting. 

How common is squirting?

While the research on squirting is yet to catch up, we can assure you that squirting is actually quite rare.

Read that again. You are not weird or broken if you’ve never squirted. 

‘While every person with a vagina does have the same anatomical parts, not everyone can squirt,’ says Gigi.

‘We’re not entirely sure why this is yet, but hopefully, science will catch up.’

And while porn might have you believe otherwise, Gigi explains that squirting in porn is often the result of an actress shooting water up into their vaginas and then clenching really tightly. 

When the camera starts rolling, they release it. 

‘It’s entertainment, not reality,’ she says. 

So, there you go: squirting is real, but it’s also very rare and definitely contains pee. 

The more you know!

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