‘Being a new mum is hard- I hated my partner and wondered if I’d made a huge mistake’

Being a mum is lovely, but it isn't easy. It's that simple.

It's exhausting, challenging, frustrating, time-consuming and packed with expectations. Mostly, that you'll bond with your child straight away, take it all in your stride and have it all figured out – nappies in one hand, coffee to go in the other – but it's simply not the case.

Honesty is refreshing and these days, celebrity mums are stepping forward to speak out on the difficulties and struggles they feel.

Former TOWIE star Jess Wright, 36, gave birth to her first son Presley a couple of months ago and has openly admitted her house "looks like a game of Jumanji" since welcoming the little one, whilst Mollie-Mae Hague recently broke down in tears on Instagram.

The new, first-time mum admitted she was "struggling" and "doesn't feel like herself" following her daughter, Bambi's, arrival.

Losing control of 'normal' life and your former identity are common feelings that motherhood influencer and author, Becky Vieria knows all too well.

In an exclusive open letter for OK! to any new mums reading, the mum behind popular Instagram account @WittyOtter shares her brutally honest account of what to expect during that first year…

'Dear New Mums: You will positively loathe the first year of motherhood (but you don’t have to!)

Shortly after giving birth, we're often told that we’ve just embarked upon the most magical period of our lives.

We're led to believe that once our baby makes its grand arrival, mystical fairies will sprinkle our lives with glitter hearts and rainbows, and we will live happily ever after.

I, however, disagree.

New motherhood is one of the most agonizing stages in a woman’s life, mentally, physically and emotionally. It’s not just a few of us who are struggling, it’s a universal situation that we need to openly discuss. It doesn’t matter if you’re a celebrity mum like Lindsay Lohan, Gemma Atkinson, Ferne McCann or Rihanna, or a “regular” mum like the rest of us. None of us are immune to the hormones, bodily changes and emotional strife that comes with giving birth.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

There is no rule saying that we alone must bear the weight of our new role as if it’s some barbaric rite of passage. We can, and in fact deserve to, enjoy the first year of motherhood. But we have to honestly share the reality of our situations if we’re going to help new mums. I’ll start with some important lessons I learned.

You will likely hate your partner. You may gaze lovingly at your partner moments after your baby enters the world, but soon you may question what you even loved about them at all. Babies are hard on relationships. You are both exhausted and trying to keep a tiny human alive. While that may seem like reason enough to solely focus on your baby, you can’t. You have to constantly communicate.

Your body will need more recovery time than you think. You aren’t supposed to “bounce back.” Your body did something massive and incredible, and it will take time to undo all the changes that happened over the past 40-ish weeks.

You will cry and wonder if you’ve made a huge mistake. We all doubt ourselves. But you are a good mum, you absolutely were meant to be the mother of your child. Know that you are not alone in these feelings, and it’s absolutely normal to feel this.

Everyone will offer advice. In fact, you’ll be barraged with unsolicited advice. You are under no obligation to listen to any of it. You are well within your rights to smile, nod and thank the person, and then never do as they say. Remember, most of these people aren’t baby experts and sometimes what they say can be flat out wrong.

Breastfeeding isn’t easy. Breastfeeding hurts and it doesn’t work for everyone, it’s lovely to breastfeed, it’s also lovely to bottle feed. Just feed your baby in a manner that works for both of you. Don’t make yourself miserable trying to nurse because you think you should.

Your mental health matters.Postnatal mental health is of the utmost importance. Learn about the signs and symptoms of postnatal depression and other potential conditions and seek help immediately if you think something is wrong.

You matter, too. Yes, your baby is now at the centre of your world. But you must also prioritize yourself. Your baby is depending on you to literally survive. You need to be happy and healthy right now, if not for yourself than for your baby.

The harsh truth is that new motherhood is harder than you expect. But it doesn’t have to be. Your baby will be immensely loved and protected by you and everyone else in their world. It’s okay to take a break and make it about you sometimes. In fact, you’ll be much better off if you do.'

Becky Vieira, author of Enough About The Baby: A Brutally Honest Guide To Surviving The First Year Of Motherhood. (Union Square & Co), out now