Everything You Need to Know About the Asexual Spectrum

The asexual spectrum, commonly abbreviated as “ace-spec” or “a-spec,” refers to sexual identities and orientations that fall under the asexual umbrella. Just as there are many different ways to experience sexuality, there is a variety of ways people might experience asexuality.

It’s hard to tell how many people in the world identify as asexual, but a widely cited 2004 national survey suggested that asexual people make up about one percent of the population. More recently, a 2017 study conducted by UCLA’s Williams Institute indicated that at least 1.7 percent of the LGBTQ population identifies as asexual. All these people may identify as ace, but their experiences may take different forms beneath the asexual umbrella, or fall in different places along the asexual spectrum.

While there’s still a lot of confusion about what it means to be asexual, we can at least agree that sexuality is a spectrum. In some cases, it can be set in stone, but for many, it’s fluid and has the potential to evolve. This is the case for asexuality too. As psychotherapist Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT previously told Cosmopolitan, “Under the asexual umbrella, or on the asexual spectrum, there are a plethora of identities.”

Some people who identify within the asexual spectrum may not feel sexual attraction at all, yet still desire to have a romantic partner. Others may only feel a little sexual attraction. Some may experience sexual attraction on specific occasions, like after they’ve cultivated a strong bond with someone over an extended period of time. Like all forms of sexuality, asexuality manifests in different ways, so there is no single way to experience it.

What Does It Mean to Be on the Asexual Spectrum?

The asexual spectrum includes people who don’t experience sexual attraction at all or experience small amounts of sexual attraction within unique circumstances. This is different from allosexuality, which describes people who commonly experience a primary sexual attraction based on instantly available information, such as a person’s appearance.

“We use ‘allosexual’ in a similar way to how we use ‘cisgender’ to mean people who are not transgender. Giving a name to both groups helps stop us from thinking of one group as different and the other as normal,” says Dan Copulsky, Board Member and Research Affiliate at the Center for Positive Sexuality.

The asexual community typically breaks attraction down into three components: aesthetic, romantic, and sexual, explains Quinn Pellerito, LGBTQ+ Education Specialist at WOAR – Philadelphia Center Against Sexual Violence.

“Aesthetic attraction is about thinking someone is handsome, pretty, or beautiful. Romantic attraction is about having a crush, wanting to go on a date, and desiring romance. Sexual attraction is about desiring to sleep with someone,” says Pellerito.

Though people may experience different levels of attraction in these areas, sexual attraction is least likely to be felt by people who are asexual. Regardless, there’s a wide, diverse range of identities and experiences within the asexual community.

What Are Signs That Someone May Fall Within the Asexual Spectrum?

Everyone experiences sexuality in diverse ways depending on what end of the spectrum they fall, but a common denominator among people on the asexual spectrum is that they experience little to no sexual attraction.

For example, greysexuality (or graysexual, grey-ace, gray-ace) is an identity within the asexual spectrum that describes people who fall in the “grey area” between asexual and allosexual. Copulsky explains that people who identify as grey-ace experience occasional sexual attraction or rarely experience it at all.

Similarly, demisexuality (which is sometimes considered a subset of greysexuality) is an identity within the asexual spectrum that describes people who generally don’t experience sexual attraction most of the time, but when they do, it’s only after an emotional bond or connection is formed.

What Is the Difference Between Sexual Attraction and Romantic Attraction? (And How Is It Relevant to the Asexual Community?)

The asexual spectrum has two orientations: sexual orientation and romantic orientation. Copulsky says that distinguishing between sexual attraction and romantic attraction can be particularly useful for asexual people, because experiences of romantic attraction vary within asexual communities.

“Some asexual people are also aromantic and do not experience romantic attraction,” says Copulsky. However, many asexual people do experience romantic attraction, do want romantic relationships, and use labels like biromantic, heteroromantic, and homoromantic to describe who they are romantically interested in.”

“Asexuality is simply a way to talk about the experience of not or only rarely experiencing sexual attraction,” says Cody Daigle-Orians, asexual writer and creator of Ace Dad Advice. “Asexual folks can experience other kinds of attraction, like romantic attraction. They’re just not having the experience of that one kind of attraction,” (i.e., sexual attraction).

Does Asexuality Have Anything to Do With Sexual Arousal?

One of the biggest misconceptions about asexuality is that asexuals have no desire to have sex. Though people on the asexual spectrum experience sexual attraction toward others at a lower rate, if at all, they’re still capable of getting turned on. Let’s put some context behind this.

“Arousal is the in-the-moment experience of your body and mind waking up to the idea of sex. It’s what’s happening right now, whether caused by something in particular or spontaneous,” Daigle-Orians explains. “Libido describes the intensity and frequency of arousal. So, high libido folks feel arousal frequently and powerfully. Low libido folks experience it infrequently and at [a] low intensity. Sexual attraction describes the direction of our libido—where’s it going, or where is it not going?”

According to Daigle-Orians, asexuality is only about that last part, i.e., the sexual attraction part. “Ace folks can be aroused. Ace folks can have libidos. Ace folks can have sex lives,” he explains “They just aren’t—or [are] only rarely—experiencing the attraction bit.”

Daigle-Orians adds that there is a wide variety of attitudes toward sex within the asexual community. “Sex-favorable” is a term for ace folks who enjoy sexual activity, despite their lack of sexual attraction. “Sex-indifferent” folks don’t have any strong positive or negative feelings about sex. However, they may engage in sex for reasons outside of attraction or desire, like starting a family or wanting to please their partner. “Sex-repulsed” refers to those who have strong negative responses to the idea or the act of sex. They may also have equally negative feelings about viewing porn or even talking about sex.

It’s also important to note that asexuality is not the same as celibacy or abstinence. If someone is celibate or abstains from sex, this means they have made a deliberate decision to not partake in sexual activity, regardless of how they experience sexual attraction.

Is It Possible for Someone’s Identity Within the Asexual Spectrum to Change Over Time?

“Experiences of sexual attraction can absolutely change over time,” says Copulsky. “Some people’s experiences of these things are very stable throughout their life, while other people feel more fluidity over their life course.”

Sexuality, in general, is best represented as a continuum, regardless of who a person is attracted to, how often they experience attraction, or how strongly they feel it.

Remember, it can take time for people to understand and label their identity. The more we learn and process our experiences, the more likely we’ll feel affirmed in our most authentic selves. The same applies to all sexual identities, orientations, and communities across various spectrums.

How to Support Friends or Partners Who Are on the Asexual Spectrum

For starters, we can check in about when we are sexualizing something or someone. “Our society sexualizes so many things unnecessarily, and we could center consent a little bit more by noticing when that is coming up and asking if that is what is desired at any given moment,” says Pellerito. “Asking instead of assuming is a great opportunity to make sure you are on the same page with someone.”

Pellerito also encourages placing a high value in friendships by un-learning societal messaging that tells us sexual and romantic relationships matter more than platonic ones. Many people in the asexual community prioritize their friendships in a deep way. Reciprocating that level of investment in your friendships can help your ace friends feel seen and supported in the relationships they choose to nurture and prioritize.

Last, but not least, Daigle-Orians encourages active listening, learning, and acceptance. “Understand that asexuality isn’t a monolithic experience. The ace person in your life won’t have the same experience as the ace person you meet at work. Holding space for [the] ace experience to be diverse allows us to be more fully ourselves.”

Related Terms:

Asexual

Allosexual

Greysexual

Demisexual

Autosexual

Fraysexual

Cupiosexual

Source: Read Full Article