How to deal with FOMO during the cost of living crisis

Budgets are tight at the moment and we’re all having to adapt our spending habits to ensure we can afford the essentials.

As a result, our social lives are taking a bit of a hit – as, for many, this is the area we can save the most money on, simply by declining plans. 

Drinks, dinners out, birthday events and even group holidays are all luxuries when it comes to spending money.

These are the things most of us would typically spend our disposable income on – but the current cost of living crisis means this money could be put to better use elsewhere.

Of course, individuals within a friendship group will be earning different salaries too – so while some people might be able to afford a dinner out or a weekend away, others may not right now.

Life coach Natalie Trice tells Metro.co.uk:  ‘Just as Covid and the lockdowns meant that so many of us weren’t able to go out and do what we wanted with family and friends, the current economic challenges are also putting blocks in place when it comes to socialising and going on holiday – as well as just popping out for a coffee on a Saturday afternoon. Every penny matters.’

So how do you deal with this social FOMO during the cost of living crisis? 

Especially when it’s not fully your choice – and you would get involved with more plans if it was financially possible.

Remember, it’s the quality that counts 

Dr Anna Mandeville, a consultant clinical psychologist and UK clinical director at Koa Health, stresses that friendships are nurtured by the quality of time spent – not the quantity or the expensive venues. 

She tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Walking in nature with friends, being mindful, enjoying the changing seasons and sharing a winter picnic could be where the real value lies.

‘What friends want most is our attentive presence, so concentrate on compassionate behaviours and listening wholeheartedly. Being present in this way reconnects us to gratefulness and positivity.’

As a result, look at every opportunity that comes your way and think about whether you want to, and can afford to do it – and embrace saying ‘no’ to things.

Natalie adds: ‘A bottomless brunch, a party where you need to stay over at a hotel, or a hen weekend in Ibiza are all things that could come your way, but do you really, really want to do them?

‘If you do, see how you can save up some extra cash, – even looking at a side hustle or part-time job to finance the extras.

‘But quite often we just go along with everyone else to save face – and if this is going to cost you your peace of mind and mean the difference between being able to eat well and heat your flat, you need to think about what’s important.’

Scale down expectations and look for alternatives

Dr Anna adds: ‘Figure out what “good enough” looks like for you in regards to spending time with your friends and loved ones and scale down expectations.’

Instead, focus on fun, free activities you can enjoy together and let go of fixed ideas around what your time together ‘should’ look like – and suggest these to your friendship group.

Real friends will understand money is tight at the moment and will be up for money-saving activities – especially if it means quality time together.

Natalie says: ‘Yes, you are used to go to the pub on Friday but how about taking drinks to a friend’s house instead? You still get to hang out but at a fraction of the cost.’

Think about your own values

When it comes to FOMO, Dr Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic, encourages individuals to get really clear on what’s important to them and to make decisions (and cuts) in alignment with that. 

She says: ‘When the feelings of FOMO arise, it’s about reminding yourself why you made those choices. 

‘Avoid making any comparisons with other people and stay clear on your own values and your own life choices. 

‘Ultimately, it comes down to making a negotiation with yourself so that when the feelings come up, you can acknowledge them and then let them go, knowing that you made the choices that are best for you and your circumstances in the long term.’

Do breathing exercises

Perhaps you’re anxious about turning down a group holiday or a dinner out as you simply cannot afford it?

Remember to try breathing exercises if you feel stress and anxiety starting to take over.

Dr Anna says: ‘When experiencing worrying thoughts about money or missing out, focus on your breath. Deep breathing and relaxation exercises have been shown to help bring our heart rates down and are a good first-aid strategy for worry. 

‘Whether you have a few minutes or half an hour to spare, there are many different breathing and relaxation techniques to try.’

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