Husband dumped me for a woman ten years older – now he's trying kick me out | The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER a lifetime together, my husband has left me for a woman of 61 – and now he’s trying to make me homeless.
He frequently invites her to stay over in our house and I overhear them having noisy sex, which makes me feel sick.
I’m 50 and he’s 52. We met at college, married 25 years ago and have two adult children.
He’s the only man I’ve ever been with, or loved. We’ve had rocky times over the years but always worked through them.
But during the lockdowns, when we were stuck at home all day, our relationship deteriorated. We argued a lot and stopped having sex.
Rather than try to work things out, my husband ran into the arms of another woman — his former PA, who is almost ten years older than him.
They had always had a flirty relationship but whenever I grew suspicious, he laughed it off because of her age. Now I’m sure he lied, and they must have had an affair in the past, which they have resumed.
I found out in the worst way possible when I overheard my husband talking to this woman on the phone, saying he was planning to get me out and move her into his bed, so he could make love to her for ever.
I confronted him, and to my horror, he told me he loved her, not me. He said he was going to divorce me and take the house because he’d paid for it.
Since then he has behaved coldly, even flaunting their relationship in front of me.
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She is wrinkly and grey, and looks much older than me. Does he really find her more attractive, or is it some sort of fetish?
Staying in this environment is destroying me. But I refuse to leave my home and let him have everything.
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DEIDRE SAYS: He is behaving cruelly and selfishly. But whatever he wants you to believe, he can’t just take the house and move his mistress in – it’s half yours.
You urgently need legal advice so you understand your rights and can fight for your property.
My support pack, Thinking Of Divorce, has practical information on the steps to take.
Talk to a solicitor. You can also contact your local Citizen’s Advice Centre for legal help. (citizensadvice.org.uk).
The fact this woman is so much older seems to really bother you. I wonder if it’s because you feel humiliated.
Try not to focus on her age or looks. This won’t help you at all. People have different tastes, for many complex reasons.
It’s important you talk about your feelings.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Luca’s loving being a dad – until his friend spills a secret
My Ring door bell revealed that my girlfriend was cheating on me
Don’t be embarrassed to speak to friends and family.
Read my support pack, Cheating, Can You Get Over It? and think about having some counselling.
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