I fear my lesbian girlfriend is going on holiday for sex – as Im cat sitting

My girlfriend is excited about her next holiday.

She’s bought loads of new clothes and can’t stop gushing about the resort she’s chosen.

There’s a golden beach, great bars and clubs too. The only problem is I’ve not been invited.

I’m staying behind to feed the cats and I’m miffed.

She’s jetting off with three friends from her old job. They’re very close and fond of living it large. They love dancing, singing and sleeping around.

My girlfriend is the only one in a relationship and I’m convinced she’s planning to cheat.

I’ve even accused her of wanting to replace me, but she tells me I’m daft. The reality is that she and I haven’t been getting on for a while now.

The lockdowns hit me hard. I lost my job and struggled to support my mother, who is demanding at the best of times.

For a long time I relied on my girlfriend for money and food. She resented supporting me and started calling me a scrounger, which I found incredibly hurtful since, before Covid, I was always the main breadwinner.

We stopped having sex one afternoon after a terrible row and we’ve not slept together in the same bed since. Now I’m working again, but my girl is behaving like a brat. What really hurts is that she didn’t even consider inviting me along.

She planned this holiday right in front of me without once asking if I’d like to join in. Now all she’ll say is: “Someone has to look after the moggies.”

I know that’s true, but my niece would have happily stepped in.

How do I stop myself from breaking down when I feel terribly rejected and insulted?

JANE SAYS: Your girlfriend is being insensitive. Despite knowing that you’d love to join her on holiday, she’s ignoring your feelings and pushing on with her plans.

It’s great that she’s got a wide circle of friends, but how would she like it if you did something like this?

Suggesting that you have to stay behind to feed the cats is petty and untrue.

Sit her down and discuss the elephant in the room ie. that she is the only woman in a relationship on this trip.

Point out that you haven’t failed to notice that her lively friends are all footloose and fancy free. Can she explain how she plans to conduct herself? Clubs and bars are one thing but is she up for a holiday romance? Is she hoping for snogs in the disco or sex on the beach?

Make it clear this is not you being a spoilsport or insecure. This is you demanding to know where you stand before any lines are crossed.

Sadly, if she no longer loves nor respects you, then should you move out before she gets back? Is this situation now serious enough for you to consider a split?

She needs to sober up and accept that she’s in danger of going too far.

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