I hate it when my boyfriend ties me up during sex | The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my boyfriend ties me up during sex, I worry I won’t be able to escape.
He uses cable ties to bind my hands and feet to the bed, but I’d prefer him to use ropes or even scarves, which are looser.
I’m 30 and he’s 32. We’ve been seeing each other for a few months and are both into experimental BDSM sex.
I’ve asked him not to use the cable ties because they’re so restrictive and I feel trapped, which makes me a bit panicky.
What if something were to go wrong?
I told him my fears and he got quite angry with me.
He said that’s what he liked using and I should trust him.
Maybe I’m overreacting but it’s making me feel used and unloved.
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It’s putting me off sex.
Am I worrying unnecessarily?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Nobody should be forced into doing something sexually against their will.
You may have consented to being tied up, but you have made it clear you don’t want your boyfriend to use cable ties as you feel trapped.
He needs to agree to your compromise solution.
The fact he gets angry about this suggests he is controlling and putting his own sexual desires over your welfare.
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Read my support pack, Sex Games And Sense, together.
If you ever feel unsafe with him, then this is not a healthy relationship and you should think about ending it.
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