I slept with my cousin and now I don't know what to do

I slept with my cousin after years of sexual tension and now I don’t know what to do – I’m so confused but I need him in my life

• An anonymous British woman revealed she slept with her cousin at a reunion  
• Read more: I got hooked on sleeping pills when my husband died in my 20s

An unnamed woman has revealed how she slept with her cousin at a family reunion after years of ‘sexual tension’ – and said she now ‘needs’ him in her life. 

The anonymous poster said after her father had died when she was a child, she had barely seen his side of the family – including her uncle or cousin. 

However she said she had felt  ‘massive sexual tension’ with her relative since she was 16.

Upon seeing him recently at a family function, she decided to act on her feelings after a few drinks and said he ‘did not say no.’

She shared her story with OK! Magazine, explaining: ‘I don’t know what I want from him, but I feel like I need him in my life. I don’t know if I’m mentally stable enough for the fall out it might cause if anyone found out what we did though.’

An unnamed woman has revealed how she slept with her cousin at a family reunion after years of ‘sexual tension’ – and said she now ‘needs’ him in her life (stock image)  

The poster revealed she had slept with her cousin recently, explaining that while he was her father’s brother’s son, her family was not close at all.  

‘My father passed away when I was little and I don’t see that side of the family, unless it’s a big family wedding or funeral,’ she said. 

She added that there was been ‘massive sexual tension’ between them since she was 16, and that she decided to act on it after a few drinks at a recent family function. 

Her cousin admitted he felt the same, and the two became intimate. 

The anonymous person added that she is now unsure about what she wants from her cousin, but said she wants to keep him in her life. 

She said that she fears that there could be a fall out if other members of the family heard of what happened between them. 

She asked the columnist for her opinion, adding she wants to know what other people think of her story, and that she cannot be the only one in a similar situation. 

In the response to the anonymous post, the columnist said that the person was not ‘weird’ for having sexual urges towards her cousin, but should seek a therapist to explore where her desire to be with him stemmed from. 

Lalala LetMeExplain began by explaining that marrying your cousin is not illegal in the UK and Ireland, but that it is not a common practice. 

The columnist added that the anonymous person should not be judged for having sex with her cousin. 

What the medical experts say about cousin marriages 

Cousin marriages have been legal in the UK for over 400 years.

Official government figures for England, uncovered by the Mail in 2018, revealed cousin marriages are a key factor in an average of two child deaths every week. 

Distressingly, many surviving children of the couples involved have physical or mental problems. 

These include blindness, deafness, blood ailments such as thalassemia — which can make sufferers anaemic — heart or kidney failure, lung or liver ailments, and myriad complex neurological or brain disorders. 

She said that this kind of union is commonplace in several other cultures, and that the stigma that children born from the union of two cousins could have birth defects was no longer true. 

Lala also quoted a 2008 report where scientists claimed that the risk of genetic defects in babies born from two cousins is the same as the risk for women over 40. 

However, the columnist said she couldn’t encourage the person to pursue a romantic relationship with her cousin. 

She questioned whether the poster wanted validation for her choice to sleep with her cousin by being told she was  not ‘weird’ for doing so. 

She also asked whether the person wanted to gauge how her loved ones could react if she told them that she had been intimate with her cousin, which suggested she wanted more than sex with this person. 

The columnist asked whether the poster was looking for permission to continue seeing her cousin, and said that only they could decide what she was  comfortable with. 

Lala recommended that the person seeks therapy in order to explore the reasons why she felt attracted to her cousin. 

She suggested that her attraction to her cousin could be linked to the absence of her father, and that she could be trying to feel close to a man who could protect them. 

The columnist added that the person could also be looking for the thrill of doing something forbidden, or going for someone who is conventionally unavailable. 

Lala also conceded that the poster could have also simply be driven by very strong lust for her cousin, which sometimes can drive people to do things that we wouldn’t normally do. 

She said it could be especially true if the person hadn’t grown up with her cousin or did not know him well. 

The columnist added that whatever reason pushed the person to act on her attraction for her cousin, she knew that she was going against the societal belief that dating your cousin is not something you should be doing. 

The dating expert added that the poster needed to decide what she wants from her cousin, and that she should tell people around her if she wants more than a sexual relationship.  

She warned the poster that the fact she slept with her cousin would be judged by others, and asked her to consider whether the cousin is worth it. 

However, she added that if the woman was worried that her mental health couldn’t sustain the fall out of people finding out, then it suggested that the relationship wasn’t worth it. 

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