I want to tell my friend she is overdoing the Botox injections

I think I should warn my friend she’s had so much Botox her face looks frozen – I’d want her to tell me but people say it’s ‘none of my business’

• Woman sparked debate over whether she should tell her friend her Botox is bad
• Anonymous UK-based poster asked Mumsnet users to share their opinions
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A woman has sparked a debate online after saying she thinks her friend has overdone Botox injections – and wants to know whether she should voice her concerns.

The anonymous woman, who is thought to be UK-based, took to parenting forum Mumsnet to garner opinions on her dilemma. 

While many respondents said that it was none of her business, others argued that they would welcome their friend’s input on the subject.

The original post was titled ‘[Am I being unreasonable] to tell her she’s overdoing the Botox?

It said: ‘Just this really, do I tell my friend or do I just keep my unsolicited opinions to myself?

An anonymous poster, thought to be UK-based, took to Mumsnet to garner opinions on her dilemma regarding her friend’s Botox usage (stock image)

‘Just for a bit of context, we are part of a group of friends from Uni. She was a mature student and is 8/9 years older than the rest of us.

‘She is attractive with a great figure and hair and over the past few years, has really started making an effort with how she looks and she looks better now than she did 10 years ago.

‘But recently she’s been doing more and more and has that frozen look, no expression. She’s just booked yet another appointment.

‘She’s a very good friend, the kind where we always promise to tell the other if they have spinach in their teeth or snot on their nose. I would want her to tell me if our positions were reversed.

‘YABU Don’t tell her, it’s got nowt to do with you.

‘YANBU Tell her, be honest, it’s what a good friend would do.’

The post attracted a range of opinions, including many responses from forum users who suggested it would be better to say nothing to the friend.

One wrote: ‘I wouldn’t. The thing is, she’s looking in the mirror and deciding she looks good and opting herself for more Botox. So obviously happy with what she sees. Totally different to spinach in teeth to me, etc.’ 

 According to the post, the friend has started to put more effort into her appearance, including getting Botox. But the poster says the muscle-freezing jabs have left her face looking strange

Another added: ‘Some people like the frozen look, they specifically ask for it. It’s not really any of your concern just because you don’t like it, it’s an aesthetic she likes so leave her be.’

And another agreed, writing: ‘I’d keep quiet. Women who have stuff done to their faces tend to be incredibly defensive about it. Let her crack on. Or not.’

Meanwhile a further respondent pointed out: ‘The thing is Botox looks harsh at first then wears off after a few days to the optimal position. It might look better as time goes on.’ 

A more strongly worded response said: ‘Unless she specifically asks “what do you think about my botox?” I would keep my mouth shut. Maybe she just likes the frozen look, maybe she’s just very insecure about her aging body and you being younger than her puts her on a vulnerable spot so by pointing that out you may loose her as friend. 

Many respondents took to the post to share their advice, suggesting that the poster keeps her opinion to herself, rather than tell the friend that her Botox looks overdone

‘Again, if she specifically asks then just nicely tell her that the botox gives her a frozen look that you personally don’t fancy.’

However, others disagreed, and felt that if they were in the friend’s position, they would want to know that their tweakments were not leaving them looking their best.

One wrote: ‘I would, tactfully, just because I’d want to be told. I’d say something like -it still looks like it’s active, you could probably get away with leaving it for a bit. It’s seems unlikely she’s deliberately going for the frozen look.’ 

And another agreed, writing: ‘I would tell her gently.

‘It’s not the same as looking in the mirror to see a hair cut, you don’t see all angles, expressions and movements accurately in a mirror so she won’t be seeing the full effect unless she’s watches videos of herself at different angles where she wasn’t aware of being recorded (which is unlikely!).’

However, other forum users felt that the poster should tell her friend that her Botox injections are leaving her looking frozen – but to approach the topic lightly

Another suggested that the depth of the friendship could be a deciding factor, saying: ‘I’d say it to my best friend. I’d be more cautious with anyone else.’    

Meanwhile, a further poster suggested a way the poster might subtly uncover the best way to approach the subject.

They wrote: ‘How about just opening up a conversation with her and asking, with genuine interest, about her treatments? 

‘To genuinely find out how she feels about it, rather than hinting. Eg “Tell me about Botox then; what do you think is the best way to use it? Are you going for celeb-smooth or do you want the natural look?”

‘It might become clear that she wants the frozen look, or she might ask your opinion.’

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