I'm desperate to move but my sister is too dependent on me and couldn't fend for herself | The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: PEOPLE have always commented that I’m more like my younger sister’s dad than her brother.
At 28, I’m only two years older than her. But our own parents have never really been involved in our lives so I’ve always looked out for her.
My sister is very dependent on me and lives with me, while Mum and Dad now live locally with new partners.
We all live in a small town and I’m desperate to leave and find a more fulfilling job but can’t see a way out.
My sister won’t even leave the house to do a food shop, so I can’t imagine that she could fend for herself.
She will only leave the house if I accompany her, and certainly couldn’t hold down any work.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
When I’ve spoken to her about me maybe moving out, she gets so upset and begs me to stay.
Mum and Dad are just so caught up in themselves all the time, they wouldn’t even know how to help.
All my friends have moved away and I’ve been stuck in a series of dead-end jobs, in a town I don’t want to live in, and with my sister who I love but feel so resentful of.
I’d love to work in product design but there are absolutely zero opportunities where I live.
I don’t think my sister could cope with any move, but remaining here is slowly killing me. What can I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
My boyfriend and I fantasise about our landlord – should we take it further?
Bella is finished with Drew’s games
DEIDRE SAYS: You are clearly doing a lot to support your sister but if you continue to do everything for her, not only will you end up seriously resenting her, you will also be miserable.
The more you do, the more you are enabling her to live her limited life.
If she struggles with anxiety, she can seek help. My support pack, Anxiety, explains more.
It sounds as if it is time she stood on her own two feet.
Your parents haven’t been involved so far, but perhaps she could start to stay with one of them every now and again, to help her become less reliant on you.
It is time to put yourself first and stop allowing your sister to have this hold over you.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, will help.
Most read in Dear Deidre
My boyfriend and I fantasise about our landlord – should we take it further?
Ever since my partner's miscarriage I've been struggling to get an erection
How do I stop my freeloader brother from taking advantage of my parents?
When my marriage was falling apart, you helped me pick up the pieces
Source: Read Full Article