In praise of the Golden Retriever Boyfriend

As far as internet dating advice goes, ‘get yourself a man whose basically a Golden Retriever’ is up there with some of the best. 

Hold up, isn’t calling men dogs just an insult? Yes, but to be a Golden Retriever Boy is meant as a compliment – we promise. 

He’s playful, sweet, loyal and loving, and eager to please, just like the breed. Golden Retrievers are loved by and love everyone. 

The brooding, avoidant, toxic guy is – thankfully – losing its appeal among the Very Online who have instead embraced the healthy love of a fluffy-haired, happy-go-lucky guy. 

In 2021, women started posting videos of their Golden Retriever Boyfriends catching snowflakes with their tongues, falling over their feet to compliment them for cutting up their apple, and just generally being affectionate. 

It’s been a year and the Golden Retriever Boy trope is still going strong (#goldenretrieverboy has 48.3m views on TikTok).

Their praise offers some relief from the toxic cesspit of online dating, but are they all they’re cut out to be? 

How can you spot a Golden Retriever boy? 

You’ll find them wagging their tails, begging for pets and practically jumping with excitement. 

Kidding – kind of. The Golden Retriever Boy was named such because his personality emulates that of the bounding, goofy dog. In the nicest possible way. 

Jamie Johnston, the founder of the Mattr dating app said the Golden Retriever is a stress-free man who is true to themselves. 

‘They are not trying to be what they feel women want and act themselves much like the Golden Retriever they are happy-go-lucky, dependable and affectionate,’ he adds. 

I love my little princess ❤️ #fyp #BIGASYOOX

Annie Corser, the Senior Insights Editor at Canvas 8, says the ‘golden retriever boy’, is perhaps an evolution of the ‘Offline Boyfriend, (no social media, doesn’t know who Trisha Paytas is)’. 

Crucially, Annie says, the Golden Retriever boy is ‘not to be confused with ‘the nice guy’ who, shocker, is actually not nice. 

‘Nice guys’ are more likely to call themselves feminists to try and get laid, only to call you a b**** as soon as you politely reject them.

The Golden Retriever Boy isn’t this. They are just quite simply happy and excited by life, and want you to be happy too, because they like you a lot and will make that very clear. 

He’s a soft boi, but without the facade of niceties. 

He is not a love bomber. A Golden Retriever Boyfriend won’t be affectionate simply for their own manipulative gain, but because they want to be. 

Why do we love the Golden Retriever Boyfriend trend? 

We are tired of dating shitty people.  

The defining characteristics of the Golden Retriever Boy are cuteness, loyalty and a good sense of humour. 

‘They are simply ‘baseline qualities for a partner who is good to you and fun to be around,’ Annie says. 

Essentially, this is Gen Z internet speak for ‘men who are into you, and want to treat you well’.

Asking for those qualities isn’t being picky, it’s reasonable. Annie says: ‘It speaks to how people are seeking romantic partners that offer good ol’ goodness as a respite from the toxicity found elsewhere. 

‘In essence, it’s a response to F*** Boys, framed with the Instagram caption in mind.’

those golden retriever boys amirite? 🦮 #fyp #dogbreeds #mcu #relationships #relatable #typesof #foryou #marvel

The popularity of the Golden Retriever comes along with a wider embrace among Gen Z of romance, a la novels by authors such as Colleen Hoover. 

Annie says: ‘There is definitely an appetite for fairytale-esque conceptualising around dating, after over a decade of Tinder fatigue.

‘But while the Golden Retriever Boy may seem too good to be true, it’s actually an honest admittance that modern dating is hard, and being decent is commendable.’

TikTok dating trends aren’t real life, but they can reflect and influence it, and help change the narrative of what a good relationship is. 

Jamie says: ‘Society has never been more influenced by ‘trends’ as it is now…Social media can influence everything from relationships to fashion and everything in between. 

the rain is more fun with a golden retriever boy #nyc#summerinthecity#youngmarriage#love#nycintern#fyp#goldenretrieverboy

‘The desirability of GRB might also be due to how stressful our current 100mph lives are along with the mental health crisis in young people. 

‘Do women aspire to the bad boy type who’s not going to treat them right and cause unnecessary anxiety and stress? Do they have the mental capacity for that at this age and age?’

The embrace of decent men is an antidote to the age of Andrew Tate and hyper-masculinity. Women quite simply love their Golden Retriever men.

However, Jamie says there is a chance some men ‘could see the popularity of this trend and jump on the bandwagon when it is not in their nature, thus not being true to themselves and their potential partners leaving no happy party.’

Beware the f***-boy in retriever clothing. 

What does this mean for real-world dating? 

The Golden Retriever boy is symptomatic of a sea change we’ve been seeing in pop culture in recent years, that’s given coolness a rebrand. The simps of the world are good, now. 

Everyone’s realised that being distant and aloof, or dating someone that is, is actually just quite boring and sad once the excitement of the chase wears off. 

Being with a Golden Retriever boy who showers you with affection and makes you belly laugh is simply just more fun. 

I love him tho 😭 #fyp #foryou

‘In contrast to much of public discourse, this trope serves to remind a broader community that being enthusiastic, kind and loving can be aspirational,’ Annie adds. 

Essentially, he’s Mr Peanut Butter in Bojack Horseman. Well-meaning, loving, generous and excited by the simple things – but easily distractable and naive. 

Golden Retrievers need training, and their human equivalents aren’t perfect either. They are just quite content to have you around and will do their best to show that. 

There’s something so alluring about someone who has bags of kindness and love to give when modern dating can truly crush this out of you. 

But at the end of the day, people aren’t an internet trend. 

Jamies concludes: ‘The Golden Retriever is a fluffy, happy-go-lucky dog who’s extremely popular, however, this can also be spun into traits such as ‘boring, common and submissive’. 

‘My advice is to forget labels, trends and pet analogies and focus on your values and the human in front of you.’

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