Inside Nicole Kidman's strained relationship with her adopted children

Inside Nicole Kidman’s strained relationship with her adopted children Bella and Connor: From missing both their weddings to never acknowledging them in award speeches and claiming they refused to call her ‘mum’

• Nicole Kidman hasn’t been pictured with her adopted children in 16 years 
• READ MORE: Shakira’s dodged a bullet! How ‘controlling’ Tom Cruise made Katie Holmes give birth in silence and is estranged from daughter Suri

Nicole Kidman is often pictured with her daughters  Sunday Rose Urban, 14, and Faith Urban, 12,  –  even scoring the pair roles in hit her shows Big Little Lies and The Undoing.

But less is known about her relationship with her children from her marriage to Tom Cruise.

The Australian actress, 55, shares Connor, 28, and Bella, 30, with her ex-husband, with the pair adopting them in the early nineties.

Throughout her relationship, the family were often pictured together, but following her split from the Top Gun star in 2001 the pair reportedly stayed ‘loyal to their father’ and decided to live with him – meaning they were raised in the controversial Church of Scientology. 

The Big Little Lies star has refused to talk about the religion or her family ties in recent years and she is said to have been absent from many of her children’s life events including Bella’s wedding at the Dorchester hotel in London in September 2015, despite her living in the city and starring in the West End at the same time.

Nicole hasn’t been pictured publicly with her eldest two children since 2007, and she was reportedly left ‘devastated’ after the pair didn’t attend her father’s funeral in 2014.

Little is known about Nicole Kidman’s relationship with adopted kids Bella and Connor (pictured with then husband Tom Cruise in 1996 in Sydney)

She is now reportedly hoping the pair are present when she is  handed the Life Achievement Award at the The American Film Institute (AFI) ceremony this summer.

Touted by the institute as ‘America’s highest honour for a career in film’ Nicole will be the first Australian actor to be given the nod.

‘Nicole knows Connor is extremely loyal to his dad so she doesn’t expect him to come, but the invitation is there for both of them,’ an alleged source told Australia’s New Idea.

‘It’s an event they have every right to celebrate along with the rest of Nicole’s family,’ they continued.

‘Nicole is trying to limit her expectations, but is clinging to hope Bella might make it’. 

Nicole has two biological daughters with her husband Keith Urban, they are pictured in 2014 in Sydney

Connor and Bella are pictured in London, where Bella lives with her husband

In 2018 when accepting her Best Actress Golden Globe, the Nine Perfect Strangers star thanked her biological daughters and second husband Keith Urban – but didn’t mention Connor or Bella.

The actress rarely speaks about the pair, saying she wants to keep the relationship private, but has spoken of how they ‘picked scientology’ and ‘don’t call her mum’.

Speaking about her desire to keep her kids’ lives private back in November 2018, Nicole explained: ‘I have to protect those relationships. 

‘I know 150 per cent that I would give up my life for my children because it’s what my purpose is. 

‘They are adults. They are able to make their own decisions. They have made choices to be Scientologists and, as a mother, it’s my job to love them.’

The last photo of Nicole in public with her two oldest children was taken in March 2007 at the Kids’ Choice Awards in LA 

Scientology appears to be the root of much of the divide in the family, with Tom allegedly banning Nicole from Connor’s 2019 wedding to another high-ranking scientologist.

‘Tom is behind this and what he wants is as good as law,’ a source  told RadarOnline.com at the time. ‘Tom made the call and Connor followed.’

Connor, a former DJ who is now into deep sea fishing, ‘worships the ground his father walks on’ the source added, claiming he would never disobey the actor.

In 2010, Nicole said she wished her kids lived with her.

In 2007, Nicole said her adopted children had even stopped calling her ‘Mum’, sparking rumours their relationship was strained.

‘My kids don’t call me mommy, they don’t even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it,’ she said.

Nicole wraps her arm around Connor during the 2003 Presentation of the 18th Annual American Cinematheque Award honoring Nicole Kidman at the Beverly Hilton

Nicole was regularly seen wit her children in the early noughties, but they haven’t been pictured together since 2007. Seen in 2004 at a Los Angeles Lakers game

Those rumours were fuelled further three years later, when she spoke publicly about the children – who are both committed Scientologists along with their father – choosing to live with Cruise.

Kidman has previously insisted she does keep in contact with Connor and Bella, despite them choosing to live with Cruise when they split.

‘They live with Tom, which was their choice,’ she said.

‘I’d love them to live with us, but what can you do?’

She added to E! News: ‘Everybody has their own path and when they find their path it’s such a relief as a parent.’

Nicole Kidman and is pictured with her children Sunday Rose and Faith and her husband Keith Urban at Sydney airport

The last time she was photographed with Connor in public was at the Annual Kids’ Choice Awards in Los Angeles in 2007, when he was just 13.

However, the family deny there is a rift.

In 2014, she told Woman’s Weekly that ‘they are generous, kind and hardworking. And these are traits that I love to see in my children’.

At the time she also described her film Lion – where she plays an adoptive mother – as a ‘love letter’ to her children. 

In the same year, Connor also said: ‘I don’t care what people say. I know that me and mum are solid. I love her a lot. My family means everything,’ he said.

Speaking to MailOnline in 2016, Bella said: ‘Of course [we talk], they’re my parents,’ she says. ‘Anyone who says otherwise is full of s**t.

Connor is said to be ‘loyal to his dad’ and is often pictured with him, the pair are seen in 2013

Connor and Tom are often together, they are seen in 2015 in Tampa

Connor is pictured with Keith Urban ahead of his wedding to Nicole Kidman on a boat in Sydney Harbour in 2006

In 2012 she told New Idea: ‘I love mom. [Nicole’s] my mom. She’s great. I see her sometimes and I speak to her,’ adding ‘we’re a very close family. I love all of our family.’ 

Meanwhile, Nicole is rumoured to blame Scientology for ruining her marriage and separating her from Connor and Bella.

In her book Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology, ex-Scientology member Leah Remini claimed that Nicole was labelled a ‘suppressive person’ or ‘SP’ by the church after leaving.

The Insider reportedly told Radar, ‘First, Tom would never even consider inviting Nicole to Connor’s wedding because she’s considered a ‘suppressive person’ by the church — and, second, he doesn’t want her there,’

They added that the Mission Impossible star turned his back on Nicole ‘a long time ago’ and has never looked back.

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