Menopausal divorce: How menopause can trigger marriage breakdown

If you want more evidence that menopausal women are being let down, look at the trend of ‘menopausal divorce’.

It’s something family lawyers are seeing happen time and time again – and even worse, it could be preventable.

Rachel Roberts, regional director at Stowe Family Law, explains: ‘A menopausal divorce is when a divorce occurs during a woman’s menopausal years.

‘Over 60% of divorces in the UK are initiated by women in their 40s, 50s and 60s and as these tend to be (though not always) when a woman goes through perimenopause/menopause.’

The symptoms caused by the menopause can put a strain on relationships – particularly when adequate care and understanding isn’t shown towards the person going through it.

Stowe Family Law conducted a survey last year which revealed that 68% of divorces involving women at this time were initiated by wives.

Rachel says: ‘Unfortunately, it is common for a marriage to break down during a woman’s menopausal years.

‘And we see this reflected at Stowe, as we receive significant enquiries from women in their 40s and early 50s filing for divorce, often citing issues caused by the menopausal years as one of the reasons for the marital breakdown.’

Divorce rates peak for couples aged 45 to 49 years old in the UK, according to the National Office for Statistics.  

Why is this happening?

‘Danger zone’

Perimenopause and the menopause can be a particularly challenging time for couples.

The physical, mental, and emotional symptoms of menopause can be overwhelming.

Those going through it can be facing anxiety, depression and a lack self-confidence – all while coming to grips with other bodily changes. 

‘Inevitably, this impacts relationships, causing new issues or highlighting existing struggles,’ Rachel adds.

65% of women in the survey felt their menopausal years had negatively affected their romantic relationships, with a loss of physical intimacy being a major concern.

Rachel says: ‘Our research found other key areas triggering relationship issues during menopause were the partner not understanding, an increase in arguments, lack of communication, and growing apart.’

She calls this a ‘danger zone’ period in any marriage, in which the menopause itself won’t be the sole cause of a marriage breakdown, but that it can expose and magnify other points of tension, like a catalyst.

Therefore, couples should be wary of it.

‘In my experience, if the relationship is already struggling, it may not have the resilience to survive the changes and challenges times such as the menopause bring,’ Rachel says.

One silver lining is that occasionally, Rachel has experienced couples reconcile after the menopause period, though it is rare.

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