My husband chooses porn over sex with me – I might start cheating on him

My husband used to be a right laugh.

He’d strip off at parties, tell rude jokes and get everyone going.

From singing at the top of his voice to organising drinking games, he was the life and soul.

These days he’s boring. He stopped drinking after breaking his leg falling down the stairs, and gave up going to parties when our friends started including sex play (swapping, spanking, blindfold snogging, etc).

READ MORE: Just Jane: 'My husband stopped having sex with me so I got pregnant on a one-night stand'

Now he’s more at home cataloguing his Beatles and Rolling Stones records than belting out “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” on the karaoke. The only “jumpin” he does is when I catch him looking at porn.

These days he’d rather look at other people having sex than get it on with me.

He used to be red hot in bed but I can’t remember the last time he whisked me away for a dirty weekend.

He’s not a nasty person but he’s like something out of another age – the dark ages. I listen to the sexy stories that my younger friends tell me about their bedroom antics and feel short changed.

Increasingly I hit the town with these mates. I get chatted up by hot guys and told that I’m good looking and fit. I realise that I’m missing out by staying with an old fart like him.

A couple of times recently a guy in a local bar has bought me drinks and come on to me. Now we sext too. I just know that if I were to give him the signal he’d take me to bed. Surely, I deserve more than the boring life I have.

Should I divorce him?

JANE SAYS: Has it never crossed your mind that your man might be depressed and more than a little lost?

Breaking his leg must have been catastrophic, to say nothing of painful and massively inconvenient. If his light has gone out, then shouldn’t you be helping him to reignite it?

Where is your love and support? Start talking to the fella about how he feels.

Should he speak to his GP regarding his low mood and mental health?

If there is a problem at home, then you need to rise to the occasion and deal with it head on.

You describe your man as boring but at least he’s honest, reliable and solid. Maybe his personality has changed, or he’s simply grown up and matured.

I understand that you feel bored and unappreciated but is sexting a sleazy stranger really the answer?

Talk to your husband today. Describe the kind of relationship you’d like. See if he’s interested in dropping the porn habit and making a fresh start.

Seek professional help through Relate if you think it will help. Going through a divorce is heartbreakingly horrible for everyone. I wouldn’t recommend it.

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