‘Partner had orgies and hot tub romps while I was away – I found used condoms’
My partner humiliated me by sleeping with a series of blokes behind my back.
I was working abroad and she treated my place like a knocking shop. She had drunken fumbles in my hot-tub and group sex in my bed.
I returned home early to find used condoms under the duvet and crispy boxers on the carpet.
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I grabbed her stuff and threw it out of the window. She returned from visiting her mum to find clothes, cosmetics and shoes strewn on the wheelie bins.
She banged on the door telling me I’d got everything wrong.
Now she’s calling me unreasonable for refusing to take her back. She says that everyone makes mistakes and that I’m cruel and unkind.
She’s devious and crafty. She’s trying to make out that I’m making a big fuss over nothing. But I’m friendly with the neighbours and they tell a different story. They say that my house was party central while I was away. There were screams and loud music and naked men running around my garden.
One night the police turned up when someone started having sex on my front lawn.
My neighbours all have CCTV and have shown me some eye-watering footage. My ex’s attempts at damage imitation aren’t working because I know the truth – and I’ve seen the proof. Yet I’m the one being called cruel for locking her out of my property and my heart?
How does that work? I’ve had her sisters on the phone complaining that she’s sofa surfing and upset and that I need to do something about it. Do I?
Even her boss has texted complaining that she’s distracted and unable to work – and it’s my fault for being unreasonable.
JANE SAYS: Clearly an awful lot of people – your ex-girlfriend’s siblings and boss included – would like you to take her back. They want this matter wrapped up so that she’s out of their hair and settled again.
But why should you roll over? From what you say, you’ve been badly let down.
You trusted her to behave herself while you were away, yet she not only cheated but she abused your property too. You returned home to carnage – a story that has been backed up by the neighbours living all around you.
It’s vital that you now resist your tricky ex with all your might. Don’t allow her to grind you down. I’m sure she misses living in your lovely home, but she blew her happy ending by going rogue.
She now realises that she screwed up. Not so long ago you were a couple and, I suspect, her life was pretty sweet with love, food and warmth aplenty.
Now she’s facing a chilly future, but that’s not your fault. We have to be able to trust those around us. Don’t feel responsible or guilty. Hold your nerve and stay strong. I think all of us expect to feel safe and protected within our homes.
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