Sexologist lived with husband, kids AND her boyfriend in same house

2022-09-28

Sexologist mum living in Byron Bay describes having her husband, their two kids AND her boyfriend under one roof after she fell in love with him at a music festival

Tamica Wild has revealed how she met her boyfriend Rob at a festival in 2018
The sexologists had an instant connection and she told her life partner, Harry
Rob soon moved in with the family and after lockdown they moved to Byron
Tamica now lives with Rob, primarily, but ‘Harry is around all the time’

Tamica Wild has revealed how she lived under one roof with her husband, their children and her boyfriend

A sexologist has revealed how she lived under the same roof with her husband, their two children and her boyfriend in a very unconventional family unit.

Tamica Wild was living with Harry* her partner of 11 years in Melbourne when she met Rob* at a Byron Bay music festival in 2018.

The 37-year-old mother-of-two, who was always clear about her non-monogamous relationship style, told her husband about the new man immediately.

‘I came back home to the father of my kids, and I told him all about this person that I’d met. And I’d said “I’m not willing to not see this person again. There’s something there with us, and it’s a thread that I want to follow”,’ she said.

Speaking on the Parentkind podcast Tamica explained she and Rob, also a sexologist, started a long-distance relationship before he was gradually introduced into the family home.

‘I think we actually hung out with the kids once or twice on our own, and then the two dads hung out on their own, and then it would be all five of us and we just kind of stepped into in gradually,’ she explained.

Rob then relocated to Melbourne and moved into the family home.

The living situation meant the adults had to constantly check in with each other to make sure they didn’t cross anyone’s boundaries and that their needs were being met.

‘At the beginning of our relationship I remember saying to Harry “Yes, I want to be with you, and it won’t be just you”.

Tamica, left, was living with her life partner and the father of her children Harry, centre, when she met Rob, right, at a music festival. Rob then moved into the family home

Tamica met Rob, a fellow sexologist, at a music festival and knew she had to explore their connection once he returned home to her family

‘And so that kind of flung us into a whole world of not fully understanding what that meant at the time, and it really seemed like the more freedom and agility we gave each other, the closer and closer we became,’ she explained.

Despite being polyamorous since the beginning of her relationship with Harry, living with one of her partner’s was new.

Tamica explained that some days she would be in awe of their wonderful dynamic, and said her kids loved having two father figures.

Other days they would look at each other and admit, like in any relationship, things weren’t easy.

Tamica would continue to date and sleep with people outside of her two primary relationships, and constantly ‘levelled up’ so that she could be there for her loved ones.

But something wasn’t working.

So after lockdown, Tamica, her kids and Rob moved to Byron Bay.

While Harry no longer lives with the family unit, he is still ‘there all the time’.

‘We’re all really close friends, my boyfriend and the boys’ dad, they hang out and go for walks and give each other hugs.’

Tamica says her relationships haven’t changed, but the configuration has.

Tamica moved to Byron, where Rob is from, following the lockdown in Melbourne but says Harry is ‘there all the time’ and the relationships she has with both men remain solid – the configuration has just changed

‘There’s no crescendo – there’s no moment where it was like, “this is the icing on the cake”. I just knew that I wanted to continue living in my relational values, so it was like when something difficult comes up, I either navigate that or I stop being in this type of relationship,’ she said.

‘There were times when the family and the relationship and the intimacy and the friendship and flow and connection and conversation inside of the family unit was far more important and prioritised over other times or other people or other things.’

Tamica totes herself as a sexologist ‘for mums’ and helps them find what brings them pleasure.

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