'We're long-distance – a lot of my sex life involves sexting'

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week, we hear from Nina*, a 25-year-old journalist living in London.

Nina, who’s bisexual, has been with her boyfriend for four years. They’ve been navigating a long-distance relationship while he’s away at university and usually see each other at least once a week.

‘As such,’ she tells Metro.co.uk, ‘a fair amount of my sex life involves sexting and masturbating, but that’s helped me to learn so much about myself.’

Nina loves how comfortable with exploring her body this has helped her become.

‘When I was a teenager,’ she adds, ‘I shrouded masturbation in shame and struggled with it until I was probably 19 or so.’

Without any further ado, here’s how she got on this week…

Thursday

Today was a fairly quiet one – I was preparing for a weekend away (without my boyfriend) so I just enjoyed a quick bit of me time before an early night.

I’ve always known my own body well, but navigating the distance together over the last four years has allowed me to push that further.

My boyfriend loves buying me toys, and together we’ve explored things like blindfolds and handcuffs and I’ve often used this when I’m alone, too.

Friday

I spent most of the day travelling today but found myself missing my boyfriend as it had been about 10 days since we’d seen each other.

I’m aware that’s such a short amount of time compared to some long-distance couples, but we’d been together for close to two weeks the last time he visited, so I was noticing his absence more. 

Once I’d checked into the hotel (I had my own room), I had a little nap and, later that evening, a bath. I love running the faucet and using it for pleasure by gently pushing my legs forward and myself under it – the pressure is actually very powerful, and kind of like receiving head.

Saturday

Another relatively quiet day today. I spent the day exploring the city I was visiting (Bordeaux) and caught myself wondering whether there were any sex toy shops here, as it seems a relatively quiet city.

Inevitably, I did stumble across one which brought me joy. I had a little look inside but didn’t buy anything (cozzie livs, after all).

Sunday

This evening I flew back home, so I was pretty tired when I got back and went straight to bed.

I love the weekends because I’m usually not working, which helps me to relax a little bit more. There’s always more time to put into my sex life, whether that’s morning sex with my boyfriend if we’re together or some solo pleasure. 

Before I went to sleep, I used an app-controlled toy. It uses a combination of vibrations and air pulses for pleasure, and it’s solely meant for external use.

This is amazing for me as I often struggle with pain during sex, so clit stimulation is often preferable.

Monday

Today was definitely the most boring day of the week sex-wise.

I worked from 8am until 5pm and then went and had dinner with my family, and I didn’t get back until late.

I was super exhausted so fell straight asleep, but knew I’d have some fun tomorrow as I was seeing my boyfriend.

Tuesday

Today was undoubtedly the most exciting day I’ve had sex-wise this week. 

My boyfriend and I stayed in a hotel together this evening as he was graduating from university. It was a special treat from his parents, and we went out for a nice dinner and drinks after the ceremony to celebrate.

After a cocktail and some wine at dinner, we went back to the hotel bar and had another drink with his parents, who dipped before us to go to bed.

I’d dressed up relatively fancy for the ceremony, re-wearing a silk, flowery dress I’d bought for a family friend’s wedding last year. It’s a fun little number that I knew my boyfriend would love – ever so slightly low cut around the boobs, but enough that it was still appropriate to wear around his family. 

‘You’re so beautiful’, he smiled at me once we were alone together in the bar. ‘I think we need to go upstairs.’ And so, upstairs we went, where we opened a mini bottle of red wine from the fridge.

We’ve always had really emotion-driven sex as a couple, but this evening felt different. We’re always good at foreplay, but this evening we had more emotional foreplay – we drank together, chatted about the day and laughed, which all felt pertinent to the experience we were about to have.

Looking at him, I thought, ‘Wow, we’ve been together for four years, and I’m still crazy about him’ – it was one of those pinch-me moments that I often get with him, but that still catches me off-guard because I’ve never had such a long-term relationship before. I’ve always lost interest.

We ended up having sex for a couple of hours. He’s always been confident in the bedroom, but it’s often been me that’s been dominant – that totally switched this evening.

He started off by sitting on top of me on the hotel chair, gently pushing up my dress to my hips and touching me (like that scene in Atonement). After a while, he picked me up and put me on the bed, giving me head whilst I laid down before moving me gently onto his face – with my verbal consent.

Then, we switched to penetrative sex – which he did from behind whilst touching me at the same time. This is definitely my favourite position as I have vaginismus and I find this the most manageable, and most pleasurable. 

When we finished, we stayed naked all night whilst we cuddled, something which always makes me feel loved and close together afterwards.

Wednesday

Today, I reflected on how interesting it’s been to track my sex life through a diary.

At first, I thought ‘Okay, I’m going to need to have some of the most frequent sex of my life this week so that there’s enough to put in the article’, but then I realised that it wasn’t about that. It was about tracking my journey, my thoughts and emotions – and if I only had partnered sex a couple of times that week, so what?

Before we checked out of the hotel, my boyfriend and I had another round, this time in the shower. It was solely fingers-based, and it was super hot and intense because we were running a little late.

It was so lovely to spice things up a little during our hotel stay. Things can sometimes become a bit stagnant/samey and a trip away always adds an extra element of excitement!

*Names have been changed.

How I Do It

In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.

Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.

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