My neighbour's construction work is driving me mad – what do I do?

For the past eight months, my mental health has slowly crumbled.

My neighbour’s extension has interrupted all of my weekdays: from waking up my one-year-old, to forcing me to cancel work and social plans.

The constant fear of not knowing what will happen next makes me feel anxious, and sometimes paranoid.

My pleas to my neighbours have got me nowhere, and during night feeds I often cry along with my baby. 

I found out about my neighbour’s extension plans as soon as I moved into my house with my boyfriend in April 2021. I didn’t object to the planning permission as I think it’s fine to revamp your property – especially since we’re no strangers to repair work ourselves. 

I regret it so much now.

Our house is old and damp, so we had the walls repointed, a new roof, replastering and repair work on the plumbing and electrics. It was slightly disruptive but each job only took between a few hours, a few days and a couple of weeks over the space of seven months, with several weeks between jobs. 

I gave my neighbours regular updates, but they said they didn’t mind as they both worked full-time.

Later, they said they were having some work done and told us that they were applying for planning permission but the document just said that they were having a porch and side extension installed.

Naturally, it didn’t mention the total refit as it’s permitted development so their plans didn’t seem like much of a big deal – I then had a message from them saying they were starting the first week of January and that was it.

Now, I feel so stupid as I even bought them wine and baked them banana bread when we had work done – whereas they’ve just stayed with their parents and have left the rest of us to deal with the consequences.

The stress of not knowing what was going on or when it would end was overwhelming

At first, I tried my best to ignore their work, but it was incredibly disruptive from the start; creating dust, noise, rubbish and various trespassers on our property, as well as constant blocking of the shared driveway that leads into our private one. It was hell.

The work started when my baby was four months old and the stress of not knowing what was going on or when it would end was overwhelming.

The issue came to a head after four months when my neighbour texted me asking to attach their extension to my front wall and I said no. She seemed annoyed as she immediately sent a curt message back and stopped being friendly at that point but there was no reason for us to give them part of our house. I didn’t want to be liable for their building work, or create issues with selling my house in the future. 

The next day I was shocked to see a two-metre-deep hole outside at the side of my property, exposing its foundations. A part of my garden wall had also been knocked down as a builder’s van reversed into my driveway, nearly hitting my boyfriend’s parked car. 

I’d had enough. I texted my neighbour to inform her that we didn’t want our property excavated without either our permission or a legal agreement in place. She sent her dad round who argued with me for an hour while my baby cried. 

He said that it didn’t matter what they did, or how long it would take because they had planning permission. I felt so small and humiliated.

I managed to calm him down by saying my concern was with my own property, I didn’t really care what they did otherwise but no resolution was reached. 

The hole was there for six weeks and I felt sick every time I saw it as it was a constant reminder of how little they cared about our property, or our lives. To check for subsidence, which is when the land is not solid enough to be built on, they kept filling it with water and soaked my wall in the same place where we’d only recently had damp fixed. 

Thankfully, my child was too young to walk as the muddy hole filled with metal spikes was a serious hazard. 

Opening my front door each morning also brought me face-to-face with builders parked across my drive, and claustrophobic feelings ate away at me.

I dreaded leaving the house as a new mother as I felt self-conscious with the builders watching me try to manoeuvre my pram past them. It felt intrusive to have someone parked one metre away from my front door, as well as on my driveway, watching – but I didn’t have the strength to argue.

The problems were so obvious that another neighbour saw me looking stressed while trying to get out of my home, so often came to check on me and the baby. I didn’t tell her how anxious I was, but somehow she knew. 

I love my home, but I currently no longer want to live here and regret trying to be nice

Now, the unpredictable nature of the noise from the drilling and hammering makes it hard to get my baby to sleep. It has also significantly affected my job, as I work from home and I can’t record interviews, make videos or even chat on the phone without interruption.

I can’t have friends or family around either because it’s noisy. I’ve never felt more alone, or isolated. They work all day every day as well as deliveries of materials and skips coming and going.

After one of the builders threw his chewed-up sandwiches and cigarette butts outside my door while blocking me in with his van, I texted my neighbour again – letting her know about the problems. I reminded her to send the legal agreement to take liability for any damage to my property while working on the boundary wall after waiting for it for two months.

She reacted by telling me to never speak to her again, which made me feel bullied and like any relationship we could have had was ruined. I went to chat with her husband instead, who said he didn’t think they needed permission to build on our boundary and that he didn’t see the problem as we’d also had work done. Although he promised they’d try to be less disruptive, nothing changed. 

I recently had to stop a builder knocking my front wall down as he thought it was theirs, and he wanted to get a skip through for more excavations. 

Unfortunately, legal advice alone is expensive and time-consuming. I haven’t taken any of these steps yet as I’m too exhausted by work and being a new mum. I also can’t afford it. 

Despite everything, I am lucky as I am usually able to escape for a few hours, whether it’s a long walk or a drive in my car when I have petrol money.

For older people and those who are disabled, being trapped in your home with building work going on must be complete hell. 

While I won’t be putting signs up in the windows to bash my neighbours, the whole experience has made me more cynical. It is now October and there is no end in sight. 

They recently tore down a hedge on someone else’s land and had to be stopped from building on it as well as cutting down several trees and bushes in a community-run park in order to accommodate their patio. 

While I’ve had it the worst as my home is attached to theirs, they don’t seem to have much respect for anyone.

I love my home, but I currently no longer want to live here and regret trying to be nice. Now, I dread them moving back in – we’re unlikely to ever speak again unless we have to, which is going to be awkward as we share a drive and can’t avoid each other.

If I were to move house again, I would be just as concerned with who lives next door as I was with the property itself.

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