SNL: Real-Life Dilbert Will Give You Nightmares — Watch Video

Scott Adams has been in the news recently for being dumped from thousands of newspapers over a series of racist statements — and who better to talk about the debacle than the man himself? Not that man, obviously, but the cartoon one Adams draws. Saturday Night Live‘s Weekend Update had Dilbert on to explain his creator’s actions.

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First-year cast member Michael Longfellow plays the character in a costume that is so real, it’s a little frightening. In the comic strip’s simplistic aesthetic, Dilbert is drawn with no distinction between his forehead and hair. So naturally, in the real world, “My hair is entirely skin and it has been the great tragedy of my life,” he says. The gargantuan ears, bulbous nose, enormous upturned necktie and thoroughly opaque glasses are barely noticeable when you can’t stop staring at what now look like hideous fungal growths on his head. (The Last of Us fans will be probably be prepared for the sight. Everyone else, not so much.)

Having missed the red flags that Adams was racist (supporting Trump, part-time magician, and a “great Kevin Hart impersonation”), the cartoon character does some soul-searching to figure out whether or not he’s racist. After some reading, Dilbert comes to the conclusion that the only possible response to all of this is to join the oncoming race war. Adams would likely agree… up until the point that his comic creation yells that he’s ready to “paint the city with the blood of the white man!”

The real horror of all this — apart from the racism and the degradation of public discourse and the impending doom of the comic strip industry as a whole — is realizing that there actually was a Dilbert live-action film in the works for years. Hopefully, seeing this sketch (and the racism and the degradation and the doom yada yada yada) will scare any movie execs from ever greenlighting an abomination like that in the future. Though maybe Longfellow would be a good pick for a Beetle Bailey reboot?

Watch the Dilbert segment above, then grade this week’s SNL episode in our poll: 

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