I’ve gone cold turkey on caffeine, and this is how I’m surviving in Melbourne

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When I moved to Melbourne some three and a half years ago, I wasn’t fully aware of the depth of the city’s coffee culture. I had previously lived in Adelaide in 2005-06. At that time Starbucks opened three outlets, which quickly closed in July 2008. Australians take their coffee seriously, and somehow Starbucks just didn’t seem to make the cut.

But little did I know, Melbourne takes their love for coffee even a notch higher. With a large Italian and Greek immigrant population settling in Melbourne after World War II, they brought along with them their espresso machines. Today, Melbourne is known as the coffee capital of the world for their cafes and roasters.

Melbourne is considered by many to be the coffee capital of the world.Credit: James Brickwood

As a writer, coffee has been my constant companion. My words flowed with a cup of coffee, usually a cappuccino. As a travel writer, I’ve learned to bring a French press and ground coffee on my trips. I refuse to drink awful tasting instant coffee on remote destinations.

But when I experienced anxiety in 2017, I gave up coffee cold turkey. My doctor had not suggested it, but I figured I was jittery enough.

Moving to Melbourne in 2019, surrounded by the city’s vibrant cafe scene, temptation was all around me. I tried drinking genmaicha green tea, its nutty flavour the closest thing. But on day 100-something of the 2020 lockdown, my craving for coffee was intense. I could no longer ignore it. I marched straight to my neighbourhood cafe and ordered a decaf cappuccino. I have not looked back since.

I now drink a decaf coffee with no guilt or shame. A cup of decaffeinated cappuccino affords me a sensory delight with its delicious aroma and taste that tea does not give me. I feel joy in the perfect crema in my cappuccino foam. I know that essentially I am paying for air plus milk. But who cares for this sensory experience makes me truly happy. And, in the depths of trudging through lockdown alone, having a good cup of coffee mattered.

In the depths of lockdown, having a takeaway coffee made all the difference. Credit: Renee Nowytarger

In Melbourne, coffee is a lifestyle. You often hear the invitation, “Let’s meet up for coffee.” You go for a walk in the park and meet up for friends for coffee. Want to meet a guy for the first time, meet up for coffee. One winter day, as I held a cup of coffee and walked home from the cafe, it hit me, “Oh, so they drink coffee here to keep their hands warm.”

A cup of coffee is an essential accessory, the same way a puffer jacket is a must-have for any true Melburnian. I see more people holding coffee cups than wearing gloves in the winter months.

But this decaf coffee drinker is not welcome in some cafes. When I ordered a decaf cappuccino, the cafe owner in my own building sternly told me, “Decaf is not coffee. We don’t serve decaf.” Well-known cafes like Market Lane seem to agree with him and refuse to serve a single cup of decaf. It’s OK I’ve found many cafes not offended by removing 97 per cent of the caffeine in the coffee beans. It makes me wonder how die-hard tea drinkers feel in the coffee-centric city. Do they feel overlooked and left out?

Is coffee in Melbourne an indicator of your coolness factor? Are people who drink a “magic”, the secret, off-the-menu drink made with a double shot of ristretto (a stronger shot than an espresso) plus three-quarters flat white, more hardcore coffee snobs than those who drink the $2 Fair Trade sustainable coffee from 7-11? I’m not one to judge. But I did take offence when I coughed up $6.50 for a small decaf cappuccino in a takeaway cup in Armadale.

One thing is sure, we are blessed with good coffee here in Melbourne. It is the lubricant to our daily social interactions. More importantly, coffee is the emotional support beverage we hold tightly in our hands to get us through Melbourne’s neurotic weather.

I’m sure many of you have seen the meme, “By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87 per cent of what little joy you still have left in your life.” Well, I’ve given up caffeine, but I’ve happily reunited with coffee. I may not be caffeinated but wearing my puffer and with a cuppa in my hand, I’m ready for any kind of weather Melbourne throws at me.

Maida Pineda is a food and travel writer, author and has a Master of Arts in Gastronomy. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

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