‘They forget we are human beings’: Teachers pushed to brink by angry parents

Key points

• A federal Senate inquiry into bad behaviour in Australian classrooms is underway.
• Most teachers report spending more than five hours a week managing parental issues.
• Staff say parent WhatsApp groups often supercharge misinformation and criticism of schools.

At the worst of it, Mossgiel Park Primary School principal Lynn Ordish was ready to quit her job.

At a previous school, Ordish endured parental hostility, abuse and complaints. While the matter was resolved, it had a devastating impact on her – and she is increasingly seeing other educators cop it from a vocal minority, particularly on social media.

Mossgiel Park Primary School, Principal Lynn Ordish.Credit:Justin McManus

“There’s definitely a lack of trust and a lack of respect,” she said. “We want the best for their child, just like they do. They forget we are human beings with emotions.”

An increase in angry “red-wine emails”, critical parent WhatsApp groups and excessive expectations are making many educators question their jobs.

Every Victorian school has a code of conduct for students and parents, outlining expectations of behaviour, processes for complaints and consequences for breaches.

But parents are taking up more and more of teachers’ time, an Australian Institute for Teaching and School Leadership survey of 38,000 teachers found, with 59 per cent of teachers putting in more than five hours a week managing parents’ issues.

Violence and hostility towards principals reached a record high last year, while one in four teachers felt unsafe at work, according to Monash University’s 2022 national survey of teachers’ perceptions of their work.

There have been eight School Community Safety Orders issued in Victoria – which give principals powers to ban abusive parents from school grounds – since they were introduced in the state last year.

Teachers are also dealing with a classroom behaviour crisis, as the needs of students become more complex and teachers complain of violent and disorderly students. A Senate inquiry into increasing disruption in Australian classrooms is underway.

Parents pushing school staff to the brink

• A new survey of 38,000 teachers found 59 per cent put in more than five hours a week handling parent issues, up from 49 per cent in 2020.
• For almost half of all teachers, dealing with parents is the least satisfying part of their job. An  Independent Schools Victoria survey showed parents were becoming increasing demanding and damaging teachers’ mental health.
• One in four teachers felt unsafe at work, found Monash University research into Australian teachers’ perceptions of their work in 2022.
• More school leaders are being subjected to physical violence, with 49 threatened with violence and almost half the subject of gossip and slander, an Australian Catholic University survey found.
• There have been eight School Community Safety Orders made – which give principals powers to ban abusive parents from school grounds – since they were introduced last year.

Dr Erin Leif, a senior lecturer at Monash University’s school of educational psychology and counselling, said worsening student behaviour could be due to children witnessing more conflict between adults.

“Children are learning what they see. If parents are having a lot of conflicts with teachers and school leaders, and aren’t necessarily demonstrating … conflict resolution, then our children are going to be developing those same behaviours in the classroom and are going to struggle to demonstrate healthy conflict resolution skills,” she said.

Leif also said parents’ expectations had increased as they researched educational practices online and then demanded they were used for their child, even if they didn’t fit in with the school-wide approach.

Australian Catholic University researcher Paul Kidson said parents who sent their children to non-government schools often had unrealistically high expectations.

“It’s not just that they’re cranky their kid isn’t selected in the sport team. It’s the sense that when they exert an additional choice, through paying money or choosing a religious school, it does set up different expectations that can create tension,” he said.

During lockdown, Kidson said people gained a new respect and appreciation for school staff. But that quickly eroded.

He said every school principal will have had an incident with an aggressive parent.

“Why is that even permissible? It is not [permissible] in any other workplace, and it shouldn’t be for teachers.“

Australian Principals’ Federation president Tina King said there had been an increase in parents at state schools not only complaining but taking legal action.

The Australian Principals Federation’s Tina King.Credit:Jason South

“It can get quite nasty and at times vexatious,” she said. “There are high expectations upon schools to deal with a lot of society’s problems, because of the accessibility for schools. Parents go there expecting miracles.”

She said the accusations were sometimes slanderous and could be career-damaging.

“It makes people rethink what they’re doing and why they’re doing it if they’re not treated with consideration and respect.”

Mark McKelson, who was a principal in Melbourne until 2021, said there was a place for parent input, but it was a matter of finding the right balance.

McKelson said parent WhatsApp groups were becoming “principal killers” by quickly spreading misinformation and criticisms about schools.

“Because WhatsApp groups are private, it fuels people. That was the biggest change I saw in my last few years,” McKelson said.

He said social media had empowered parents to feel they had more control over what happens at their school and coloured their perceptions of teachers they didn’t know.

“To be a long-term principal you have to be … comfortable with people being unhappy with you. It’s a bit like politicians,” he said.

Researchers say parents who send their children to non-government schools often have unrealistic expectations.Credit:Gabriele Charotte

Deb James, the Independent Education Union’s general secretary for Victoria and Tasmania, said the volume of formal complaints about school staff was concerning.

She said while some were well-founded, far too many were trivial and vexatious. Often, parents refused to accept the outcome.

Complaints ranged from curriculum content, social media photos “that would not offend any reasonable person”, a staff member touching a student on the shoulder or a student being restrained to stop them from putting themselves or others in danger.

She said the current system was creating an atmosphere of fear and contributing to the teacher shortage.

Adam Voigt, a former principal who now leads educational consultancy Real Schools, blamed the conflict on Australia’s competitive education scene, which he said encouraged “school shopping” and negative portrayals in the media.

Voigt said parents were “more likely to pick a fight” these days, despite the negative consequences.

“When we’re fighting, the kid loses.”

Parents Victoria chief executive officer Gail McHardy said there was a minority of problem parents and issues often arise after a delayed response or miscommunication from the school.

“So the matter has often escalated by the time the parent finds us to assist them to navigate a way forward with the school,” she said.

She said this could result in a fractured relationship, where “both parties feel they have been harmed or unfairly treated by each other”.

Quality relationships are important, she said, as is funding for family engagement officers and community liaison staff. “When schools know their families and have better connections with the school community, this reduces challenges and conflict.”

An Education Department spokesperson said the health, safety and wellbeing of all staff and students were its highest priority, which is why School Community Safety Orders were introduced.

“The vast majority of relationships between school staff, parents and carers are constructive and positive, with department regional office staff able to support resolutions when this is not the case.”

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