What do I eat when no one else is watching? Two-minute Mi Goreng

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In this age of Instagram, people have tons of photos of their meals on their phones. I have no doubt this is the most documented generation that has ever lived, with an insane number of photos of latte art, oatmeal bowls, and egg porn – yolks oozing – as proof of our existence.

But what I’m curious to see is what people eat when no one is watching. I’m a food and travel writer of 25 years, I’ve met Ferran Adria, the father of molecular gastronomy and interviewed many of the world’s best chefs. Now let me burst your bubble. I don’t frequently eat caviar and foie gras. I live on a writer’s income. I go to Aldi for my groceries. I buy scallops only when they are on special in the market. And as I live alone, most of the time I am cooking only for myself.

It’s not easy to admit what we eat when no one’s looking.Credit: iStock

Living alone, it’s easy to get lazy when it comes to cooking. Many of us who will go through great effort to cook an elaborate feast when we have company, will simply whip up five-minute meals when dining solo at home. Or at least I do.

I proudly post my pretty oatmeal breakfast bowls with fruit in season on Instagram. When dining out with friends we will take several photos of our food. Hajime Yoneda, a chef I met in Osaka, does not allow diners to take photos of meals in his restaurant. He says he wants them to eat the meal he painstakingly prepared while it is hot. The quality of the food should not be sacrificed for a drool worthy photo.

It is a vulnerable act to admit what we eat when no one’s looking. For years, I avoided eating instant noodles knowing how bad such food is for one’s body. I worked as a freelance food stylist and an instant noodle company was a client, so I cooked copious amounts of them. When I showered at the end of each TV shoot, my body smelled like a pack of instant seasoning.

Two winters ago, an Indonesian neighbour introduced me to Indomie noodles. I will admit that I am back to eating instant noodles again. I eat them with gusto when I’m alone and can’t be bothered cooking. Something about the texture of the noodles and the savory sauce hits the spot. Dr Oetker thin and crispy pepperoni pizza is also an occasional guilty solo pleasure, tossed in the air fryer for a quick meal.

Indomie instant noodles – the name is derived from the abbreviation “Indo” and “mie” – the Indonesian word for noodles.Credit: Getty

A friend who shamelessly binged on all the episodes of Succession, admitted she also ate three packs of instant noodles. Last night, when no one was looking, I toasted a slice of sourdough bread in the air fryer (yes, it’s excellent for heating bread) and slathered it with butter before going to bed. I recently ate a bag of microwave popcorn, while soaking in the bathtub. “Who eats in the bathtub?” I wondered. Then, I remembered how Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman had champagne and strawberries while bathing. So why can’t I have popcorn? My all-time low was eating an instant mug cake, where you just add milk and toss it in the microwave for a single-serve sugar fix.

I asked Chef Ross Magnaye of Serai what he ate when no one’s looking. His guilty solo indulgence is Subway meatball sub. “It’s so good. It’s cheap, nasty, and tasty! ” he told me. He indulges on his days off, especially after a session at the gym or a long walk.

For food and travel journalist Audrey Bourget, her solo indulgence is salty condiments. “When I was a child, I was caught red-handed many times dipping into my mum’s fancy jar of fleur de sel. These days, I go for another condiment, Lao Gan Ma, crispy chilli oil. I eat it by the spoonful. The bottom part of the pot, where all the MSG sticks together is the best bit.” Mindful of this unhealthy indulgence she admits she just likes salt. “I know it’s not the best habit so I usually do it when my husband and children are not in the kitchen. But the drops of bright red oil on the bench have betrayed me before.”

I don’t care what you do for a living, or how much money you have in the bank – can you be vulnerable enough to tell me what you eat when no one’s looking? It is raw. It is candid. And, it is oh so refreshing to honestly reveal ourselves to each other.

According to the 2016 census, 25 per cent of Australians live, and therefore eat, alone. Perhaps, it is time to celebrate dining solo, and to take more time to prepare our meals. After all, we are dining with the longest companion we have in our lives – ourselves.

Maida Pineda is a food and travel writer, author and has a master of arts in gastronomy.

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