Ellie Simmonds tears up as she writes letter to her birth mother

EXCLUSIVE: Ellie Simmonds breaks down in tears as she writes letter to her birth mother in new documentary and admits she might be ‘in jail’ if raised by another family

Ellie Simmonds broke down in tears as she composed a letter to her birth mother in scenes from her new documentary Ellie Simmonds: Finding My Secret Family.

The paralympic swimmer, 28, became emotional as she read out notes from the letter, including that she was not angry with her birth mother for giving her up for adoption and that she has always known she was adopted.

Last year, Ellie decided to search for her blood family after finding out she had been put up for adoption at just 10 days old.

Born with achondroplasia (dwarfism), Ellie was devastated to discover her mum wished she had died at birth after medics told her Ellie would be ridiculed and seen as ‘evil’ and ‘stupid’.

In heartwrenching scenes from the show, Ellie begins to compose a handwritten letter to her mother in a bid to reach out for the first time.

Emotional: Ellie Simmonds broke down in tears as she composed a letter to her birth mother in scenes from her new documentary Ellie Simmonds: Finding My Secret Family

Heartbreaking: The paralympic swimmer, 28, became emotional as she read out notes from the letter, including that she was not angry with her birth mother for giving her up for adoption and that she has always known she was adopted

Reading out some of her notes, she said: ‘I’m going to tell her I’ve always known I was adopted from the start. I’m going to say I had photos of them, that I lived an incredible life. 

‘These are all bullet points. This is a big thing, the first letter. I’m going to tell her when I read the adoption notes it says you love being outdoors and are into horses and it’s funny because I love them. 

‘I know from the photos I have you had curly hair, do you still have curly hair? I do, it’s lovely but it’s hard to manage. 

‘I’m going to say I’m definitely not angry. I hope you understand that. I hope I can get to know you and find out about you. It seems like we have the same personality, again it might have changed now.’

Ellie then began to tear up before saying:’ I don’t know why I’m crying.’

Elsewhere during the show, Ellie revealed she always knew she was adopted and she often wondered what sort of person she’d be if she had been raised by another family.

She said: ‘There wasn’t that one time I knew I was adopted, it was just something I always knew. I’ve got such a great family. If I wasn’t adopted to them, who would I be?

‘My mum always says if I wasn’t adopted to them, I’d probably be naughty because I channelled my determination and competitive through swimming and sport. If I was left to my onw free will, I could be in jail. My mum says that.’

Details: Ellie also looked through old photos of her birth mother during the show along with forms detailing the circumstances around her adoption

Reaching out: Also in the show, Ellie made contact with a foster family who looked after her from when she was two weeks to three months old before being adopted

Ellie also looked through old photos of her birth mother during the show along with forms detailing the circumstances around her adoption.

Chatting with a friend, she said: ‘The last time my birth mother saw me, I was two weeks old. I don’t know anything about what she was going through or what she was told about my dwarfism.’

Reading some of the notes she has kept, Ellie said: ‘This was probably when she was told I had dwarfism. Here it is, throughout my birth mum’s pregnancy, she felt something wasn’t right. 

‘When I was born, despite reassurances from medical staff that I was normal, became convinced there was a problem. 

‘A few days after I returned home, the hospital confirmed I had achondroplasia and she expressed concerns with the midwife there wasn’t bonding with myself and requested that I be placed up for adoption.’

Reflecting on how quickly she was given up for adoption, Ellie said: ‘Two days is not a long time to decide a massive, monumental thing. Again, she was a single parent wasn’t she so you’ve got to try and place yourself in her shoes.’

Also in the show, Ellie made contact with a foster family who looked after her from when she was two weeks to three months old before being adopted.

Ellie learned the woman who fostered her had since passed away but her children informed her she had seen Ellie on TV at the paralympics and was ‘positive’ it was the same girl she had fostered all those years before.

Kind: Ellie defended her birth mother for giving her up for adoption after she was born with dwarfism

Childhood: Ellie revealed earlier this month for the first time that she was adopted when she was three months old and had now been reunited with her birth mother

Proud: Ellie has often talked about her parents Val and Steve as her biggest supporters but never before revealed how the couple, who have four other children, adopted her as a baby (pictured at the 2012 Olympics) 

It comes after Ellie told The Guardian how at the start she was ‘very, very nervous’ but as soon as they saw each other they just hugged and cried before chatting for five hours.

She also gushed about her adoptive parents Val and Steve Simmonds saying that her parents brought her up in a ‘positive manner’ and were very accepting of who she was.

Ellie said: ‘If I didn’t have my parents, I wouldn’t be the swimmer or the person that I am today. They gave me that opportunity and they put me on that journey.’

She said in the documentary: ‘Until now, it’s never emotionally affected me, it never made me feel rejected or ask why do my birth parents not want me.

‘I’ve been so focused on the future and never thought about it.’

Ellie has often talked about her parents Val and Steve as her biggest supporters but never before revealed how the couple, who have four other children, adopted her as a baby.

The swimmer was able to track down her hospital records through the help of a specialist social worker and was horrified by the medical notes made about her at birth.

An information sheet given to her birth mother claimed that children with dwarfism ‘have to deal with being stared at and laughed at by other children. Indeed, there are those with normal height who equate short stature with evil and stupidity.’

Heartbreaking: Ellie has now told how she understands why her birth mother did what she did due to misinformation given at the time including how expensive it might be to care for a child with disabilities (Ellie pictured as a baby)

Shocking: Born with achondroplasia (dwarfism), Ellie was devastated to discover her mum wished she had died at birth after medics told her Ellie would be ridiculed 

As reported by The Mirror, Ellie noted: ‘Can you imagine reading that and thinking, ‘That’s my child?’ In a way, I understand, when you don’t know anything about the disability and you get this. You’re going to be scared.’

After reading the notes, Ellie was so disheartened that she came close to calling off her search but opted to persevere and discovered that her birth mother lived nearby.

Before meeting, the pair exchanged letters and Ellie was left in tears reading out her mother’s note which explained: ‘I’ve suffered with guilt and self-hatred for not being strong enough to cope.

‘I cannot express the happiness I feel to know your parents and siblings have provided you with such a loving environment, that you’re so happy. You’ve achieved so much.’

Ellie, who has decided to protect her birth mother’s identity, then had the chance to meet her face to face and said she felt ‘more whole’ knowing where she had come from.

Recalling the ‘amazing’ meeting she said: ‘We were howling with laughter, we’ve got the same sense of humour. I kept looking at her and thinking, ‘Wow that’s my mum.’

What is Achondroplasia? 

Achondroplasia is a form of short-limbed dwarfism. The word achondroplasia literally means ‘without cartilage formation’. However, the problem is not in forming cartilage but in converting it to bone, particularly in the long bones of the arms and legs.

All people with achondroplasia have short stature. The average height of an adult male with achondroplasia is four feet, four inches, and the average height for adult females is four feet, one inch.

Characteristic features of achondroplasia include an average-size trunk, short arms and legs with particularly short upper arms and thighs, limited range of motion at the elbows, and an enlarged head with a prominent forehead. 

Fingers are typically short and the ring finger and middle finger may diverge, giving the hand a three-pronged (trident) appearance.

Health problems commonly associated with achondroplasia include episodes in which breathing slows or stops for short periods (apnea), obesity, and recurrent ear infections.

Source: nih.gov.

‘I felt like her face was just like mine. What touched my heart was she said she thinks about me every day, and she still sees me as her daughter.

‘It’s helped with finding out who I am, looking at someone who birthed me, the nature I’m from, it makes you a bit more whole.’

Ellie fell in love with swimming age five, and three years later, was racing to the same pace as her able-bodied peers, telling the Daily Mail in 2012: ‘I just wanted to keep up with my friends, so I worked even harder.’

When she was just 11 years old, Ellie and her mother relocated to Swansea so she could train with coach Billy Pye in a 50m pool.

Meanwhile, Ellie’s father Steve and her siblings remained in the family home in Warsall, and she would travel back and forth to visit on the weekends.

Ellie became fully dedicated to the sport after watching Nyree Lewis (now Kindred) from Wales win gold in the 100-metre backstroke at Athens 2004, and Ellie began to train three hours a day, six days a week.

Ellie’s parents wore T-shirts adorned with her face as they watched Ellie break the World Records at the London 2012 Olympics.

After she made history, her father Steve – who previously served as director for Ellie Simmonds LTD – told Business Live: ‘That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen her do.

He added: ‘There were seriously loud noises for all the British athletes. It was an unreal atmosphere. I think the encouragement from the crowd will have made a difference.’

Ellie’s mother Val – director of Ellie Simmonds LTD – added: ‘You want to give your children the best possible opportunity. It certainly rewards that. I was shaking all the way through the race. It was only in the last 20 metres we were confident she would win.’

Ellie has previously spoken about wanting to have children of her own with her partner Matt, who also has achondroplasia.

Asked previously if they would have to take their genetics into consideration with children, Ellie told The Daily Mail: ‘Yes, and you don’t know what you would get. You could have a child who is a dwarf, or a child of average height.

‘We could get a double dose. You just don’t know. I would like to have children in the future, though, and what I do know is that I would love that child whatever, just as my parents loved me.

‘You don’t know until you have a test, when that baby is growing inside you.’

ELLIE SIMMONDS: FINDING MY SECRET FAMILY is on Thursday 6th July at 9pm on ITV.

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