Mindy Kaling gets real about the pressure of being single on Meghan Markle’s podcast

Written by Leah Sinclair

The actor discussed the expectations society places on single women, marriage insecurities and building confidence on the latest episode of Markle’s podcast.

Despite how far we’ve come as a society, singlehood among women still continues to be a polarising topic which everyone feels a need to chime in on.

Whether it’s family members pressuring women to settle down in their 20s or society telling women being single in your 30s and beyond is a road towards spinsterhood (a truly awful way to describe older single women), the world often places these ideals and expiry dates on us without considering what we individually want. It also fails to understand that the right time for one person isn’t necessarily the right time for another – or, to put it simply, that we have no real control over when we’ll meet that special person and being single in the meantime is OK.

This was the recent discussion between Mindy Kaling and Meghan Markle on the latest episode of the Duchess of Sussex’s Archetypes podcast.

In the episode, Kaling and Markle discussed the word ‘single’ and the perception of single women when they reach a certain age.

“When you’re a certain age and you’re a single woman, and if you go to a party, it bums people out,” said Kaling.

“Even your existence as a single woman in a party where it’s married people or just a regular party with single guys or something, you get this feeling that you’re like, oh, I’m changing the vibe here because everyone’s worried about me or sad for me.

“They want to set me up with some loser they know,” she continued. “And I’m like, ‘I’m OK. I’m a rich, successful woman with great clothes and a nice family.’”

While the writer and actor spoke of her success and enjoying life, she shared with Markle that those insecurities around not being married still pop up now and again.

“Why am I not the person that got married? I think that’s harder to talk about. I’m still examining it. Um, it makes me emotional,” she admitted.

In the podcast, Kaling also made a vital point about falling into relationships for the sake of companionship and how it was a reflection on how she viewed her own desirability.

“I grew up dark-skinned Indian girl, overweight, glasses, in lily-white suburbs of Boston, never thinking I was attractive,” she said. “And I think a feeling of belonging was if a man deigns to make you their girlfriend.”

Growing up, Kaling said she couldn’t shake her perception that she didn’t “feel attractive unless you have a boyfriend” and that for much of high school and college she was “always a spectator” to love.

“So many of my shows right now are about young women and longing and feeling horny and feeling rejected. And I’ve learned a lot from that,” Kaling said. “So (in) my 20s, I’m in these relationships with guys that I’m like, ‘If someone were to take a photo of us, would the photo look good?’ […] I am stronger now and more confident.”

Feeling stronger and confident in who you are is a vital point that needs to be highlighted, particularly when it comes to dating.

In an era filled with dating apps, a long list of flags to look out for and a desire to feel a part of something, it’s important to remain true to yourself and understand that feeling whole within yourself is where it all begins before being part of a relationship.

And that journey of singledom may be longer for some than others, and it may be filled with more ups and downs compared to those around you. But ultimately, it is all a part of the journey and we all have a different path to follow despite society telling us we should all be aspiring for the same thing and be at the same place at the same time.

Life is a journey that we only have so much control over – so you may as well embrace every moment, enjoy the ride and ditch labels that place you (or your dating habits) in a time-sensitive box.

Image: Getty

Source: Read Full Article