Brits flaunt daftest tattoos – from penis measuring ruler to Tesco Clubcard ink
Sign up for the Hot Topics newsletter for hot style and sex tips
We have more newsletters
Today marks World Tattoo Day and we thought it would be fun to peak at some of the daftest designs involving ink obsessed Brits.
From a kinky mum who wanted to be able to measure penis sizes to a dad who got a Tesco Clubcard etched to his skin – these are some bonkers examples.
Influencer Tracy Kiss got tongues wagging when she exclusively revealed to the Daily Star her todger inspired tattoo.
READ MORE: Britain's most tattooed woman slips into racy bikini set to flaunt inkings
The cheeky tatt horrified her daughter and the ruler runs in inches from her baby finger to her elbow.
As for why, Tracy told us: “Just as guys in the past have asked to keep my lingerie, have a naughty selfie or even a piece of my hair, I love that I can now know the exact measurements of what I enjoy so much.
“As my friends don’t have half as many tattoos as me, they see my newly inked manhood measure stick as a little extreme and admit that they’d just ask a guy his size or accept his decision not to answer.”
The mum of two, from Buckinghamshire, added: “On the other hand, I love it and think it will be incredibly useful in all aspects of life.
“The only question is… do I extend my dots from my thumb to my index finger next so that I can discreetly measure girth at the same time?”
Another Brit who made a perplexing choice was Dean Mayhew who has a Tesco Clubcard tattooed to his arm – despite collecting just £18 worth of points in eight months.
The dad of two proudly uses it twice a day and even sends pictures to his pals so they can benefit.
Dean, a scaffolder from Bideford, Devon, said: "I still use it all the time. I love the tattoo so much.
"Sometimes when I go in there, the cashier doesn't believe it's real – I have to tell them 'just scan it please!' and they're shocked.
"Everything's going up in price so I'm always making sure I get it scanned now.
"With the points, I'm going to save them up and save towards the cost of Christmas…
"Sometimes for presents, in the toy section things will be half the price when you get a Clubcard discount.
"I've also done in the past where I've gone to Tesco and done a big shop, and the points I saved up would take it down by half.
"It will help out a lot, especially this year, with everything going up in price.
"I definitely don't regret getting the tattoo."
Next up we have England superfan Ian Odgers who turned his body into a human passport.
The Three Lions fanatic now has 32 stamps from countries he has visited to cheer on the national team.
Operations manager Ian, from Norfolk, said: “The experiences I’ve had across the years have been incredible.
"So I decided it would be cool to have a tattoo artist replicate the travel stamps on all my old passports on my arms and legs."
The dad of three added: “Each stamp holds a unique memory from the time I spent in that country, and each one is personal to me.
“My first stamp was Malaysia and the last stamp I got done was Qatar. Sadly when I look at the latter all I can think of is Kane’s penalty miss!"
Sticking to the footie theme, last month Newcastle supporter Kris Cook had a mare after getting a ‘Cup Winners’ tattoo days before his team lost the EFL Cup final to Manchester United.
But perhaps even more baffling is that Kris has no regrets.
The inking, which set him back £400, reads: “Tell me ma me ma, NUFC Cup winners 26/02/23.”
Kirs, from Northumberland, said after the defeat: “I was going in for a day session at the tattoo place anyway to get a sleeve done and then decided last minute to get the Newcastle tattoo on my leg too.
“It was all for a laugh and I had mentioned to my mates that I might get it done, but they were shocked when I went through with it. One of them said, ‘Jesus Christ what have you had done?'
"The tattoo is about four inches wide and four inches long and is just above my knee on my left leg. It took about 10 minutes to do and was thrown in with the £400 cost of booking the tattooist out for the day to have my arm sleeve done.
"The tattoo says, ‘tell me ma tell me ma’ which is a NUFC chant from the 90s and one we sing at St James’ Park. I don’t regret getting it done at all. I might do when I’m older but for now, I just think it’s funny.”
Our final inclusion is a woman who did some “self shaming” after unveiling her eye tattoos that ended up nothing like she expected.
Jordan, from Norfolk, wanted a pair of eyes on her knees but the tatt could not have been cornea after the pupils were wonky and different sizes.
Despite being disappointed, she was able to laugh at the disastruous end product and posted photos to the Facebook group ‘That’s It, I’m Inkshaming (Actually Bad Tattoos )’.
She wrote: “Self shame Sunday right?
“I got these bad boys done YESTERDAY.
“The last picture is what I asked for them to be similar to.
“I think they are hilarious and love them so no harm done, let me know what you think.
“It’s the fact that they are looking in different directions and the pupils are different sizes for me.”
One reply read: “It’s like they follow you around the room.”
Another added: “So were you trying to be the bald guy from Mamma Mia or is that just an unfortunate coincidence?”
READ NEXT:
- 'Britain's most tattooed woman' flaunts £35k ink collection in sexy bikini snaps
- Britain's most tattooed woman flaunts £35k ink collection in stunning dress
- Meet mums covered in bold tattoos – including lass who wants to ink bum crack
- Heavily-tattooed model stuns fans after 'accidentally wetting herself' during inking
- Britain's most tattooed woman fears inking body part would 'take away beauty'
- Tattoos
Source: Read Full Article