Common condition 'makes you notice your partner's annoying habits MORE', scientists warn | The Sun
FINDING your hubby particularly irritating this week? Or is your other half getting on your nerves even more than normal?
Well, believe it or not, but it might not actually be them.
In fact, scientists have found that stressful life circumstances could be to blame.
According to a new study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, how married couples see each other can be affected by their stress levels and the strains going on in their day-to-day lives.
Specifically, the researchers from the University of Texas at Austin, found that stress made people more likely to pick up on their partner’s negative behaviour – from breaking a promise, to being angry and impatient.
As you might imagine, people were also more likely to hone in on their loved one criticising them.
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“We found that individuals who reported experiencing more stressful life events outside of their relationship, such as problems at work, were especially likely to notice if their partner behaved in an inconsiderate manner,” said lead author Dr. Lisa Neff, of the University of Texas at Austin.
She and her team surveyed 79 newlywed couples – all in heterosexual relationships – quizzing them on their and their other half’s behaviour, every night for ten days.
Participants also outlined details of stressful events and situations in their lives.
The newlywed aspect was important, said Dr Neff, because those who have just got wed are generally more prone to skipping over negative behaviour and letting it slide in the honeymoon phase, than they are when deeper into marriage.
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A single stressful day, it turns out, did not throw up major discontent amongst couples, but an accumulation of stressful moments and events could.
Those could trigger a particular sensitivity to partners being inconsiderate.
In better news, the researchers discovered that stress didn’t make couples any less likely to spot and appreciate their partner’s good qualities and positive behaviour.
“For many people, the past few years have been difficult – and the stress of the pandemic continues to linger,” said Dr. Neff.
“If stress focuses individuals’ attention toward their partner’s more inconsiderate behaviours, this is likely to take a toll on the relationship.”
She says being aware of the impact of stress could help couples navigate the negativity – but further study is required.
Research on people who have been married for years, if not decades, would also be useful, rather than just those in the first flush of married life.
“One direction would be to examine if the harmful effects of stress might be even stronger among couples no longer in the newlywed phase of their relationships,” says Dr. Neff.
She added: “The fact that we found these effects in a sample of newlyweds speaks to how impactful the effects of stress can be.”
We already know that stress can have a major impact on our physical and mental health, not just our relationships.
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Stress has been linked with bowel problems, sleep disorders, panic attacks, high blood pressure, headaches, low energy and much more.
The NHS recommends using calming breathing, exercise, cutting unhealthy habits (like alcohol and smoking), mental wellbeing audio guides and talking therapies – amongst other things – to help manage stress.
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