DAN WOOTTON: Prince Harry has scored the biggest own goal in history

DAN WOOTTON: Prince Harry brands me a ‘sad little man’ in Spare, the most tone-deaf autobiography in history. After throwing his family – including the late Queen – under the bus that’s actually the perfect description for him

Prince Harry has just scored the biggest own goal in publishing history.

Spare shines a light on a life of ultimate privilege and opportunity most human beings could only dream of that is blighted by constant paranoia, bitter resentments and downright nastiness towards those who do their best to try and save this man child from himself time and again.

I needed to take a wash after reading what is without doubt the most pathetic, self-serving and tone-deaf autobiography ever because of the number of vitriolic and deeply personal swipes he takes at his own flesh and blood.

No one is safe.

Not even the late Queen, who Prince Harry paints as cold, detached and old-fashioned, rather than a monarch desperately trying to hold her wayward family together for the good of the institution.

What’s so disturbing is that, even when describing his version of events in such an obviously one-sided manner, it was still clear to me that Harry is in the wrong about almost every menial gripe for which he opines.

DAN WOOTTON: I needed to take a wash after reading what is without doubt the most pathetic, self-serving and tone-deaf autobiography ever because of the number of vitriolic and deeply personal swipes he takes at his own flesh and blood

DAN WOOTTON: The only ‘sad little man’ is the bloke who has so publicly thrown his own flesh and blood under the bus

While his father King Charles and brother Prince William are, unsurprisingly given their role, far from perfect, they are left at the end of their tether by Harry’s pig-headed intransigence, especially once he is so heavily influenced by a cabal of woke psychotherapists and Hollywood yes men working in cahoots with his controlling wife Meghan Markle.

Harry has spent the past two years claiming all he wanted was support from the Royal Family.

DAN WOOTTON: Such hypocrisy is breathtaking, but always goes completely over dim Harry’s head

But Spare makes plain when they tried to offer help and solutions, it was never good enough for the Sussexes, who want everything their own way all the time.

For example, they rebuffed the late Queen’s very sensible suggestion that Meghan should fly to Mexico to meet personally with her father Thomas Markle and salvage their relationship. What a mistake it was to ignore that sage advice.

The new king can seemingly do nothing right, even coming under strident criticism for heartily laughing during Harry’s compulsory Shakespeare performance at Eton, which he believes was an example of his father trying to embarrass him in the same way as Prince Philip once did to a young Charles.

But what shines through is that in Harry’s lowest moments in life, his father always delivers for his wayward son, offering tender sympathy and support, for example, over both his Nazi dress-up shame and Las Vegas nude picture scandal.

When Harry is 29, an age when most adults have moved on from relying on their parents for funding or constant emotional support, Charles is so worried about his son’s mental health and panic attacks that he sends him to a doctor, even though the Duke eventually rejects the treatment offered.

If anything, I came away thinking his father needed to be far tougher in these crunch moments.

William is prepared to deliver home truths when required and, as a consequence, is disgracefully presented as the villain of the piece.

Even his older brother’s guffawing in an interview about Harry’s snoring and ‘slobby’ behaviour while they were living together during military training is taken as a great slight in hindsight, rather than brotherly banter.

DAN WOOTTON: Spare shines a light on a life of ultimate privilege and opportunity most human beings could only dream of that is blighted by constant paranoia, bitter resentments and downright nastiness. Pictured: Copies of Harry’s memoir Spare stacked at Foyles bookshop in London 

There’s a distinct lack of compassion for the limitations of being heir for both his father and brother; no understanding that the pressure of that all-encompassing role might sometimes make them envious of Harry’s comparable freedom.

Wills and Kate are punished with the most strident invasions into their privacy.

For a man so angry about the publication of a letter Meghan sent to her father, Harry has no problem publishing for the world private text messages sent by Kate to Meghan during their infamous bridesmaid dress row.

Meanwhile, Harry just had to reveal, tabloid style, that it was he who ended his serious relationship with Cressida Bonas because he didn’t feel a lifelong connection, when the view has always been that the actress finished things because she didn’t want to deal with the pressures of royal life.

Such hypocrisy is breathtaking, but always goes completely over dim Harry’s head.

I have to admit I had some sympathy for William physically lunging for his sibling, after pointing out the sanctimony of Harry moaning about Press briefings just weeks after he and Meghan gave a tell-all interview to Oprah Winfrey as the late Prince Philip was on his deathbed.

In fact, Harry’s deranged obsession with the British media is genuinely a little bit worrying.

He describes a recent incident where he laughed in the face of his father who told him: ‘You must understand darling boy, the institution can’t just tell the media what to do!’

Harry genuinely believes his father has the power and ability to stop negative stories running, showing a fundamental lack of belief in the concept of a free Press.

Predictably, having broken a number of damaging scoops about the Sussexes, often accepting briefing from Harry and Meghan’s staff, as I revealed in my column here yesterday, I come in for a pasting, being described as ‘a sad little man’ for first revealing the story of Megxit.

Just like much of the fiction and fantasy in Spare, Harry gets it all wrong again though, incorrectly claiming I was ‘likely working in concert with the Palace, whose courtiers were determined to get ahead of us and spin the story’.

Harry admits he went to the late Queen with the information that I was about to break the story, in order for the Sussexes to release a statement to scoop me, despite the fact I’d given them over a week’s notice already by that point.

DAN WOOTTON: Harry’s deranged obsession with the British media is genuinely a little bit worrying 

But he adds: ‘We soon realised it wasn’t possible; we didn’t have time to get our statement out there first. We opened a bottle of wine. Proceed, sad little man, proceed. He did.’

It’s called journalism, mate, something you clearly don’t believe in, given the inaccuracies littered throughout your book.

What Harry also describes across virtually every page is a life of great luxury – growing up in castles, extravagant holidays on jet skis, a clothing allowance for posh garb, footmen serving fish fingers on bone china plates covered by silver domes, his father’s chef filling his fridge with luxury meals as an adult – but somehow he still attempts to paint himself as some sort of victim throughout.

Now the joke’s on Harry: Duke will ‘become a laughing stock’ expert warns after he allowed The Late Show to make pops at the Queen 

In these times where a very real cost-of-living crisis is forcing some Brits to consider how they can put food on the table, it all feels chronically out of touch.

Meghan’s voice seems to be everywhere throughout the book, too.

I can see her making notes with her calligraphy pen on the manuscript, as has been rumoured.

For example, when blokey Harry makes a reference to a Page 3 girl, he adds in parenthesis afterwards: ‘That was the accepted, misogynistic, objectifying term for young women featured each day on page three of Rupert Murdoch’s the Sun.’ Hardly his language.

Harry expresses embarrassing naivety throughout his relationship with Meghan, who we must remember is an actress.

He swallows hook, line and sinker his new girlfriend’s claim that she never Googled him or the Royal Family, using a moment she doesn’t recognise Prince Andrew as evidence she must be telling the truth.

Overall, Harry’s behaviour as a man is largely weak and appalling. That was summed up for me as he boasted about striking his loyal bodyguard on another booze and drug-fuelled night out.

Indeed, his mistakes are always someone else’s.

Harry claims he is looking for peace in Spare, but what he’s actually delivered for himself is a life of permanent emotional turmoil and chaos.

The only ‘sad little man’ is the bloke who has so publicly thrown his own flesh and blood under the bus.

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